When you think about a person who is “deep,” what do you think about? What comes to your mind? Is it someone who has incense billowing behind them as they mediate? A person who dispenses continuous wisdom? Many things can come to mind, but what surprises me are the things that can have your “deepness” discarded.
With the many people in the world, we all come with different tastes, experiences, and what creates our own knowledge and understanding in the world. So why do we believe that for a person to have wisdom they must have tastes that are opposite of mainstream? Or why do feel as though we can dictate what a person should enjoy to legitimize their knowledge?
I experienced this before. As well rounded as I come off (though I feel I’m oval shaped, but whatever), I’ve had a person discard all of our conversations when they looked at my tastes in music. I didn’t think that having T-Pain’s “Thr33 Ringz” in my rotation could cause people to write me off, but it happened.
It really made me wonder, what is the true issue? The person, or our expectations of them. I feel as though when we bring people into our lives, it’s very easy to mold them internally into what we think they should be. If they fit one avenue in our lives, then they should be able to fit the standards of others. It’s not until you get to know people and their quirks that you begin to see them how they truly are, and the cracks in the veneer of your perception begins to appear. That’s when we begin to decide if this person is worth being in our lives. But is it so wrong to make someone disposable if they have a taste that differs from yours?
Does an online music library, movie collection, or Nascar ticket collection remove the hours of conversation, help, and guidance that was there before? Does it make it less valuable? Does the source change once you know how that person feeds themselves mentally?
So when this person accused me of “having mainstream tastes,” and proceeded to tell me about myself, I brushed them off. But the next time I saw them, they seemed offended that I didn’t erase my entire music collection and have it filled with the music that they believed that I should listen to. However, as much of a people pleaser I’ve been in the past, I refused to go back to my dorm, and Youtube certain artists’ entire catalogues.
The type of music that a person listens to doesn’t take away all of their life experiences, or the advice that they have given. Also, trying to force someone to fit the entire mold that you have created for them isn’t fair. Being “deep” is more than just interests. It’s about how you decipher the world and how it relates to you and the others. Also, “deep” is subjective. But in all honesty, who cares what other people think what “deep” is?! You’re never going to live up to others’ expectations, so I suggest putting on your headphones and tuning them all out.
Kendra Koger is deep into twitter, not really, but you can find her @kkoger.