14 Things Women Have To Stop Doing Once They Get A Man

January 21, 2014  |  
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We get it: you’ve searched long and hard for a boyfriend and this is the first thing that’s worked out longer than three weeks. But puh-leeeeaaaase spare us, your friends, of this behavior. Here are things women have to stop doing just ‘cuz they suddenly got a man.

Talk about his problems like they’re your problems

“It’s just been so touch with my boyfriend being up for this promotion and not knowing if he’ll get it. We’ve just been so stressed.” Excuse me: “WE?” You’ve been together two months and suddenly his downfalls are yours?

Check with him before making plans

“Let me make sure my boyfriend didn’t want to do something that day first, and I’ll get back to you.” Oh, okay, yeah—you just go make sure your top preference isn’t available first, and I’m happy to play second banana. I didn’t realize I was trying to schedule with two people.

Talk about menial activities like obligations

“Oooh. I don’t know if I can. I told my boyfriend I’d sleep over that night.” So…that’s it? You told him you’d sleep over? You don’t have anything in particular you’re actually doing that night, you just told your boyfriend that you’d sleep over on Thursday, just like you have for the last 43 nights, and so, you probably can’t come to the concert with me? Okay. Makes perfect sense.

Set a strict “date night”

“Oh no, I can’t—Wednesday is always date night.” So, I’m asking you if you can do something very special with me, a month in advance, but because it’s on Wednesday, you couldn’t possibly ask your boyfriend if you could switch date night to another night, just that one week?

Say “We” liked that restaurant/movie/bar

I get it. You haven’t done one single thing alone, or with anybody besides your boyfriend, since you got in a relationship.

Assume your boyfriend is invited

Your friends invite you over for dinner, and you show up with your boyfriend. It was never discussed that he’d be coming. You never asked. You just assumed that we feel you two—who’ve been together for a month or two—are basically married now.

Assuming we know your boyfriend will be there

You invite us for drinks to “catch up,” and who is sitting at the table with you, eagerly waiting for us also to “catch up” but your boyfriend. So much for one-on-one time.

Needing to spend every night with him

Even though we’ve offered you our couch to crash on after drinking at bars walking distance from our place, you insist on taking a cab at 4 am to your boyfriend’s across town just to sleep for a few hours.

Dragging us with you to run errands for him

“Oh do you mind if we just stop at the pharmacy on the way to the movies? My boyfriend needs toilet paper.” So, you’re so certain you two will be together forever now that you’re just shopping for each other and not paying one another back.

Include us on your email threads with him

Yes, the video of the puppies you sent us is really cute. But CCing us on an email of cuteness with your boyfriend just makes us the third wheel…on an email.

Talk as if you’ve been together for 30 years after 30 days

“Oh, my boyfriend always does that. That’s so him.” Really? After a month? You already know his habits?

Ditch your roomy to move in with him really quick

“Well, we’ve been together for 8 months which is practically a year and we spend every night together so it just makes sense to move in.” No—no it does not.

Talk about problems that aren’t problems

“He just can not decide where he wants to eat and then he gets cranky picking a restaurant and is in a bad mood by the time we get there.” Poor you. You have someone taking you to restaurants several times a week.

Suddenly be best friends with his friends

“Oh you have to meet Susan and Jim—they’re the greatest people. We already planned a ski trip together with them.” After meeting his friends twice you’ve planned a ski trip, when we can barely get you to commit to two nights away for a girls weekend, because it falls on date night.

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