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From Single Black Male 

When I was a teen, it was almost automatic that I would lie about stuff to women. Men lie about the stupidest things, but when it came to courting women we would lie just to get ahead. This mentality permeates into adulthood as well, mostly because it is somewhat effective (in the short term). We would lie about our intentions with the woman, what we want to get out of a supposed union, and where we see our dealings leading in the future. More often than not, these lies would surface and would blow up in our faces. It isn’t until we mature that we realize that honesty is truly the best policy.

I used to think women were lying themselves when they said that they’d rather a dude tell them their true endgame than fabricate a story that they feel women will absorb better. Once again, women were correct. When a man tells a woman what he is looking for and is 100% honest, a woman has to respect him for being forthcoming. I understand that men are reluctant to say “I’m just looking for sex” if that’s their goal, because it does sound crazy when said aloud. If men are looking for just sex, they don’t want to mess up their chances by tipping their hand too early and having women fold. However, attaining that goal under false pretenses will eventually make that woman have buyer’s remorse. If I purchase a brand new car and the dealer guarantees that it will last for 5 years / 100,000 miles, and it breaks down as soon as I take it off the lot, I would be pretty pissed and want my money back. This is how a woman feels when men offer them the moon and the stars and they don’t even receive a spec of sunlight. Yeah, if you tell her that you just want to fool around with no strings attached and she refuses, it might suck, but it’s better than leading a woman on to the point of an eventual backlash.

By lying to get the draws, men also take the power out of a woman’s decision making process. They skew the facts in order for women to make a choice based upon what they want. This is wrong because you never know what a woman’s intentions are either. What if you intend to date that woman and make her yours, but SHE isn’t ready for all that clingy Shyte?! Maybe she doesn’t want anything serious either. Men are so hard-wired to think every woman with interest in them wants a ring and kids that they want to avoid that pitfall at all cost, especially if all they want is a causal relationship. Let a woman make that decision based off of your honest assessment of what you currently desire. It’s better to be in agreement and move forward than to have two different levels of expectations and become at odds with one another down the line. When we are younger, drama with women was cool and seen as collateral damage in our mission to occupy the land between their thighs. When we mature (and gain actual financial assets / other Shyte to lose), we realize that drama is neither cute or necessary. I’d rather be honest in my intentions than deal with the repercussions of lying down the line.


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