How To Communicate Better With Your Spouse

November 8, 2013  |  


From YourTango

Wendy is a wonderful mother. She has two young children, the youngest of whom just started first grade. She has been a stay-at-home mom for the past eight years, and now she and her husband, Bill, would like to buy a larger home for their growing family; Wendy has re-entered the work force in order to make this happen. She’s now working 20 hours a week outside of the home. Though it doesn’t sound like too much, she’s having difficulty handling the needs of her family, her job, and her home. She feels like she’s doing all the work. In other words, she feels like Bill hasn’t picked up any of the slack. She’s feeling like a big ball of stress, ready to explode. And Bill has no idea how she’s feeling.

One of the skills we women are born with is creating unrealistic expectations about the men in our lives, and getting disappointed when they aren’t met. When Wendy and Bill planned for her to go back to work, they neglected to discuss and plan for the division of labor inside the household necessary to make this happen. Because of a genuine lack of communication, Wendy continues to spin her wheels, trying to keep all the balls in the air, while Bill, unaware of his wife’s stress level, is simply happy with the increased income and his vision of their “dream home” coming true.

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