Random Friday Morning Rant: 15 Things That Are The Absolute Worst
These are just a few of the small things that can put a dent in a sister’s day; hence being deemed the absolute worst.
Product won’t hold it and your next appointment is just too far away.
Drug Store Foundation
Your average drug store only has two shades of “brown.” There’s no such thing as picking up foundation in a pinch.
Being A Black Ambassador
Which means you get to field everyone’s questions about black people…even when they’re ridiculous.
Spend an hour flat ironing it straight, walk outside and POOF.
Going All the Way to the Hair Store for Product
Because all they have in the ethnic section is oil sheen and Just For Me.
It’s one of the perils of having curly hair. Forget your Bump Stopper and you’re in trouble.
Hair, In General
It takes a lot of time, effort and money to keep your ‘do looking right. Sometimes going natural isn’t about a statement. It’s just about being tired.
Good black don’t crack, but it don’t showcase tattoos well either. We’ve got to stick to black and grey because most bright colors end up looking like mud.
Swimming, Rain, Water In General
Singing in the rain looks like fun, but this is a $300 ‘do.
Accidentally Going HAM
You’ve been trying to keep it cool, calm and collected. But then someone stepped on the wrong nerve on the wrong day. Now you’re flying off the handle and you’re “that black girl”.
The Lack of Natural Hairstyles
More of us would kick the creamy crack if we could find more natural hairstyles. Luckily, things are getting a little better.
Ratchet Crime Stories
You turn on the news and hear someone stabbed their uncle over a bucket of Popeye’s and you start praying “please don’t be black, please don’t be black” but they almost always are…
They fill up your Facebook feed with long Bible verses and 20-line-long inspirational speeches.
Those Few Days Before A Perm
You can’t scratch so you “pat pat” all day and look crazy.
I’m kind of clowning now…but not really. Mayonnaise is disgusting. How do people eat that?