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It happens to the best of us, we’re hanging out with a guy, having a good time, but underneath it all something just doesn’t feel quite right. We notice we’ve been wined more than dined and the lack of commitment makes sex feel like we’re just a booty call. Well, ladies, the reason could be because a guy is using you. We’re not saying it’s definite, but here are a few signs that could be the case.

He isn’t true to his words

This man knows how to speak to your heart, and you love the things that he says to you, but as we all know, actions speak louder than words. No matter how his words make you feel, if he isn’t proving them to you and living up to them, his words hardly mean a thing at all.

He’s prone to cancelling plans

When you two get to spend time together, things go pretty well, so you’re always excited to hang out. But, when you make plans to spend time with him, he’s often the one that has to cancel the plans, and most of the time his excuses aren’t very good ones. Continuously cancelled plans are a good sign that a guy is using you.

You pay for everything

Nowadays going dutch isn’t unheard of, and in some relationships, it’s pretty common to split things 50/50. When it comes to this man, you pay for everything, even small things such as a coffee date at the local cafe. This man is broke all of the time, with no real reason behind the lack of money. A guy who is using you is likely to avoid spending money on you.

He’s only around when he needs you

When it’s convenient for you, this man shows up or makes time to contact you. If he needs a ride to work, needs a lunch, or needs a few dollars to pay his cell phone bill, he’s contacting you as quickly as possible. However, when he isn’t in need of anything you can provide, rarely do you hear from him and rarely is he around. When a guy is using you, he’ll usually only show up when it’s convenient.

He’s still somewhat of a mystery

You two have been together for a few weeks if not longer, and while you’ve told him everything there is to know about you, when it comes to his past and his life, some of it is a big question mark. If this man isn’t one to share personal information about himself to you, then something is definitely up. Either he’s hiding things from you or he flat out just doesn’t want you to know the real him.

He only comes to see you at night

It’s not uncommon or unheard of for a man to want to spend some time with you after a night out with the boys. However, if it’s become a pattern that he only spends time with you at night, after he’s liquored up, there is definitely something more going on. A man who is only interested in spending time with you at night, and after drinking, definitely isn’t in it for you.

He rarely does anything special for you

In a relationship, it’s all about give and take. On your man’s birthday, you shower him with gifts, and you’re the type of woman to buy him a present here and there, just because. On the other hand, this guy rarely gives you anything that shows he cares about you. If you’re with a guy who can’t treat you to something nice every once-in-a-while, this is a huge sign that he’s soaking up all he can.


He rarely invites you out

His family has a monthly birthday celebration, and you’re never invited. A big group of his coworkers and their significant others go out for a night on the town, and for some reason or another, your man goes alone. When a guy doesn’t invite you out to spend time with other people, it’s a huge sign that you’re being used. Simply, he sees no reason to introduce you to friends, family, or coworkers because you’re just not that important to him.

Affection doesn’t come easy

For some guys, showing a lot of affection and emotions can be awkward, but as time passes, this becomes less and less of an issue, as he adapts. However, this man rarely shows you affection. Getting a hug or a passionate kiss from him is a rare occurrence and when it does happen, it leaves you wanting something more from it. The only affection you get is when you two are doing the deed, and even then, something is missing.

You rarely go to public places

You two spend most of your dates at home, and when you do go out in public, it’s never in your home town. When a man makes excuses as to why he doesn’t want to spend time out and about with you, it’s definitely time to start asking yourself, and him, why. A guy who is using you is likely to avoid being spotted with you in public.

He doesn’t consider your feelings

No matter how much you tell this guy that certain things make you tick or make you sad, he doesn’t seem to take it in and consider your thoughts and feelings. Instead, he does what he wants to do without ever stopping to think about how his actions may make you feel. One of the biggest signs that a guy is using you is the fact that he couldn’t care less about your feelings.

Talking about the future goes nowhere

A guy who is using you is likely to be one who hates talking about the future. When a man is in it for the sex or for the money, he isn’t going to be one to want to make future plans, let alone talk about the future. When you mention where the relationship is going and what you two can do in the future as a couple, he either has something else to do, changes the subject, or ignores you altogether.

Communication is like pulling teeth

This is true for all forms of communication. When you text him in the morning, you’re lucky to hear from him later that day, or if you call, he may return your call a couple of hours later. Communication is needed in a relationship, but this man refuses to participate. On the flip side, he will contact you the minute he needs something. All red flags that he is nothing but a user.

He blames you for things

When something goes wrong, this man is somehow able to push the blame onto you. No matter what the problem is, some way or another, this guy is able to pinpoint you as the one who caused it to happen. When a guy does nothing but blame you for the bad things in his life, he’s truly only putting you through emotional blackmail. Leave this guy and let him suffer through his own issues.

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