Somebody’s Getting Comfortable:14 Ways You’ve Gotten Lax Since You Got A Man
Let’s be honest: most of what we do is to attract a mate. Even the things that we genuinely enjoy doing, we do them so that they’ll enhance us as women and, in turn, make us more attractive, interesting mates. So once we’re blissfully in a relationship and pretty sure our partner isn’t going anywhere, we can let a lot slip through the cracks. Here are 14 ways you’ve probably become lazy now that you’re in love, i.e. you’ve gotten comfortable in your relationship.
Shaving above the knee
Shaving above the knee is one of the first habits to go once your sex goes from purely physical to emotional. What does it matter if you are a perfect physical specimen? Your guy loves you now! (But he does notice the little fuzz when his hand rides up your thigh).
Getting on top
Sure you still enjoy sex with your partner, possibly even more than you did in the beginning, but keeping up that initial gusto for sex can be exhausting. Before you know it, you play the game where you and your partner are both waiting for the other to take the initiative and get on top, and there’s a lot of 4play on your sides.
Being the social instigator
Now, if you’re invited to a fun event, you’ll go. But you’re no longer searching the internet every day to find fun group events that you can email your twenty closest friends about, and re-email them to remind them to buy their tickets.
Going to parties
“The club is twenty minutes away? And we’re paying for cabs? And there’s a twenty dollar cover? And I have to wear a cocktail dress? Forget it. There’s a perfectly good dive bar within walking distance from my place.” Recognize that thought process?
Staying up after the bar closes
You used to do whatever you could to keep the party going. If you weren’t offering up your apartment for the after party, you were finding where it was. You saw the sunrise a lot. Now, that “last call” announcement is your permission to go home and go to sleep! You expect an award for making it that long!
Going to the gym after work, when you get off at 6 pm, realistically puts you getting home at 8pm. So…gym or dinner with boyfriend? You know which usually wins.
Your gluten free/dairy free/meat free diet
It is tough to stick to a limited diet when you’re eating most meals with somebody else. Unless you eat at a restaurant that caters to your diet, you’re usually bending on some rule when you eat out. And when you cook, you feel guilty subjecting your guy to your diet, so you break it.
Going to church, visiting your grandma at her retirement community every Sunday afternoon, volunteering at the dog shelter, being a big sister in the big sister/little sister program…however you do good, you tend to do a little less of it when there is a boyfriend you could be spending your free time with.
Learning to cook
When you were single, you ate most meals at home so you were forced to become a little more savvy in the kitchen. But once you start dating, you and your guy always want to try out new restaurants, or you find “your spot” that is reasonably priced and right up the street, and before you know it’s all takeout and restaurants.
Calling your friends for no reason at all
Remember when you barely ever waited in a long line at a grocery store, or made a ten minute drive, without calling a girlfriend to simply shoot a breeze? Now you have your boyfriend for that.
Making an effort at dinner parties
When you already have someone you have great conversation and great sex with waiting at home for you, suddenly making small talk with a bunch of strangers who you’re not looking to date at a dinner party feels like a lot of work. So you smile and nod, and answer questions, but you’re far from the life of the party.
Your extracurricular pursuits
Your painting class, night class, mountaintop meditation, book club, French language group…these start to feel like a pain.
Making interesting conversation
How often have you listened in on a couple’s conversation and heard comments like, “Should we eat at 8? Are you caught up on Breaking Bad? I’m cold. Sarah’s being so annoying on Facebook.” Probably a tragic amount of times. Couples can feel like they no longer have to be interesting because they’ve already “proven” themselves to their partner. Don’t be one of those couples.
You had big plans; you downloaded every budgeting app there is; you were meeting with a financial planner to set up special accounts for this and that goal/dream/need. Now you’re probably slipping on your rule about only spending $200 a month on clothes (you have a man to impress!) and only eating out once a week (it’s so fun dining out with your guy!).