How I Learned To Stop Being Desperate And Wait My Turn For Marriage

October 10, 2013  |  

 

 

From YourTango 

Here is an unspoken truth: A man can feel when a woman he is dating is desperate. She is so desperate to get married that she actually looks right past him. She may have never even asked herself how he actually feels about getting married. Why? Because she cannot see beyond her own desire to be married, like all of her girlfriends.

Well, here is a snapshot of how the man you may be in love with feels. He is saying to himself, “Thank God the government is closed; no marriage certificates!” He is saying to himself, “Is it me, or am I just the right victim? Am I in the wrong place at the right time, or has my stalling and holding off this marriage run its course?”

When a woman gets to this point of desperation, it really makes the man feel like he is in a fill-in-the-blank scenario: “I want to get married. Come on, Johnny, you’re it! Let’s do it, or else the relationship is over!” Johnny is so scared out of his mind that he does it. What most women do not realize is that men in general are scared of marriage, and they have a cowardly nature when it comes time to face the demands of the opposite sex. He naturally wants to please you and is afraid to say no because he is either scared of losing you or is unsure of what to do. His behavior is partially due to not wanting to hurt your feelings and crush your dreams of walking down the aisle in that beautiful white wedding dress, in addition to falling victim to societal pressures like you do

Most of the time, the decisions men make regarding marriage revolve around your time clock, as opposed to, “I want to grow up and be married by the time I am 25 years old.” Yeah, right. I have honestly never heard a man say such a thing. Have you? If so many men wanted to be happily married, the divorce rate would not be sky-high, and we simply would not be having this conversation.

I have dated women in their 30s, and they truly make you feel like you are dating their checklist: “Tony has a job…check. Tony does not live at home with his mother…check. Tony only has one child…checkmate.” The point is that it makes Tony feel like he is simply there to fulfill your needs, as opposed to the needs of the relationship. Tony feels like he is a great catch, but you will never truly see him for the great catch he is. He feels like it really would not matter to you if it were him or the guy next door. He feels that, for you, rather than finding a loving companion, it’s all about who can fill that void in your life.

Read more at YourTango.com 

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