Straight From His Mouth: Are Black Men Really Dating Online?

October 8, 2013  |  


It seems everyone is moving towards the new age of dating which is primarily driven by technology. I’ve long thought this is a good idea because not everybody communicates their best face-to-face, and sometimes the traditional route isn’t the most convenient. However, are Black men taking advantage of dating online? I think so. It’s probably not at the same rate as, or higher than, Black women or white men/women, but they are definitely choosing to date online. It’s a matter of needs. In most major cities in America, Black men are outnumbered by Black women. They don’t have any issues finding women to date. (Quality women? That may be an issue, but quantity, nope.) Therefore, when you talk to Black men, like myself, about dating online they typically respond, “I don’t do it; I mean I can see why someone would, but I don’t see the need.”

But… before we get too far let’s remember one thing: men typically frequent places that women frequent. This means that, of course, Black men are dating online. It probably seems like they’re less doing it than women but that’s a reflection of the population, online or offline, there’s more women than men.

For the men who aren’t into this new dating trend, they’re likely not inclined to want to date online because it levels the playing field almost completely. That’s the reason why I recommend online dating to some women. It’s a platform in which you can completely dictate the pace and the objective. If your goal is to date with the intent on finding a relationship, marriage, or just something serious online, dating can eliminate or reduce the chances that you end up with someone who just wants sex or nothing serious at all.

I’ll be honest with you, that doesn’t sound like a game a man wants to play. He wants to be able to have his options, his cake, and he wants to eat it too. Men like when they can be reserved and withhold making a firm decision until the latest moment. You’ll very rarely find a man who is inclined to meet a woman and immediately conclude he wants something serious with said woman. Therefore, men like to meet women out and about rather than on the Internet. (As a side note, I also think men need to be encouraged by other men, which leads to them want to approach women in public, but that’s just me.)

Yes, for the most part, online dating can seem like the last thing a man wants to do, but there are some who are choosing this route. I have guys who have told me they prefer online dating too. Think about a guy who doesn’t have a lot of time to spend in the club or at happy hour. Also, think about a guy who is very skeptical of the women he meets and their intentions. I think you get the idea of the type of guy I’m speaking about. He’s the type of guy who does online dating because it saves him time and worry. As the number of successful men rises, I would assume the number will increase on online dating platforms too.

To wrap this up, I’m a big fan of everyone being happy. If women are upset that there aren’t more Black men dating online, that’s their God given right to elect not to do it. If some men are wondering if this is something they should explore because of pressure from Black women, don’t do it. Only do things that make you happy, not someone else.

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