Common Intimacy Issues Couples Face And How to Deal With Them

October 2, 2013  |  
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For many couples, their sex life starts off amazingly. Things are exciting, fun, and breathtaking, to say the least. But as time goes on, the excitement between the sheets can die down. Many couples have a sex life that goes up and down. One week things are great and the next week the sheets remain untouched. Here are 7 of the most common intimacy issues that couples may face and ways to deal with them.

You’re rarely in the mood

Work deadlines have you stressed at home. Cooking dinner for four leaves you tired and drained. Your head is pounding from stress. All of this just makes you want to go to bed and sleep it off. When life becomes busy and stressful, it’s hard to keep sex in the picture. Instead, you prefer to work, eat, sleep, and repeat.

How to fix it

While it may be easier said than done, one of the best ways to remedy never being in the mood is to get in the mood, and find time for sex. Turn off your brain and your stressful emotions, drop your jam-packed workload, and have sex. It doesn’t have to last hours upon hours. In fact, a quickie may make you feel a lot less stressed and pressured.

Attraction is fading

After being with the same person for a while, it’s not uncommon for attraction to begin to wane. You’ve seen this man in his boxers, dirty socks, burping, and picking his noise, and all of these things can easily allow you to forget what attracted you to this man in the first place. Attraction doesn’t fade because you want it or allow it to, it fades because life gets in the way.

How to fix it

One of the best ways to fix waning attraction is to talk about what turned you on in the past. Maybe your man’s strong arms and back really set you over the edge. Or maybe the things he said in bed really got you going. When you have some alone time with him, sit down, reminisce, and soon enough you’ll fall back into love…and lust.

Bedroom boredom has filled the air

When a relationship is new, a couple tests out all sorts of things when it comes to sex and fun in the bedroom. However, once a couple finds things that they like, they tend to stick to them. Over time this can lead to boredom, and before you two even get into bed, you know all the moves that are going to be made.

How to fix it

Fixing bedroom boredom is easy, as long as you and your man are open to trying new things and experimenting. First, talk to each other about your desires and fantasies. Take the time to try and act out each others’ fantasies, and see what works best. Be open to trying new things and dig deep to find what really turns you on.

Children are in the picture

A couple’s relationship, especially the intimate part of their relationship, can be thrown for a whirl once children enter the picture. No longer is it just husband and wife, it’s dad and mom. When children enter the picture, couples can often forget about sex and forget about the intimate bond that once existed. Children require a lot of time, effort, and energy, and that alone can deplete a couple’s sexual energy and connection.

How to fix it

Once a child or children enters the picture, there is no turning back. While it’s crucial that a couple focuses on being mom and dad, it’s just as important that a couple remembers to be lovers. A couple needs to make some alone time and focus on each other. A weekend alone, or even a night alone, can make all the difference.

You have opposite schedules

Sadly, not all couples will have work schedules that will mesh. Maybe you work a normal 9-5 job while your man is stuck working the night shift so by the time he gets home, you’re either asleep or you’ve already left for work. Of course you don’t want to lose sleep and you don’t want to be late for work, so time together doesn’t happen often, which means sex doesn’t happen often either.

How to fix it

While it may seem a bit odd, when you and your man have opposite schedules, one thing you can do to reintroduce sex and romance into the relationship is to plan a day, or night, that will be spent together. By planning a date in advance, you two will have all sorts of anticipation built up, which will make things even more exciting.

You’re suffering from roommate syndrome

In a long-term relationship or a marriage, you may find that after living together for awhile, having to do chores, cook, and deal with children, you two act more like roommates than you do lovers. Though you’re in a relationship you’re rarely physical with each other. Sex doesn’t happen much, nor do other signs of affection, such as a long, meaningful kiss.

How to fix it

Once you two have entered roommate mode, it can be hard to move out of it. However, there are some simple things you can do to reintroduce passion and sensuality back into your relationship, feelings you don’t share with a roommate. When you two wake up and before you leave home, be sure to kiss each other. Kissing releases all sorts of hormones that make a couple feel closer and more connected. When you have some time alone, don’t think twice about hopping into bed.

Life has become extremely busy

You two have very busy schedules. With careers, children, to-do lists, and other commitments, sex can easily take the back burner and you may find that you and your man rarely talk about or have sex at all. When your lives are busy and you spend a lot of time apart, it can be hard to carry on a healthy and exciting sex life.

How to fix it

It can be hard to remedy a relationship that involves two partners who lead extremely busy lives. Since sex has taken the back burner, try sparking your libido throughout the day. Think about your man, and maybe even do a bit of fantasizing. When sex is on the mind, it’ll happen eventually. A racy sext won’t hurt to jog his excitement either.

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