Straight From His Mouth: Are There Things Men Do With Other Women They Can’t With Their Wives?

September 30, 2013  |  

Two topics that immediately come to mind for things men will do with other women and not their significant other, is certain sexual acts and almost anything a man thinks his woman isn’t interested in. As with all things, this totally depends on the man a woman is dealing with. The latter topic, however, might actually have to do with the woman a man is involved with.

I’ve observed and written about men having trouble accepting the sexuality of their girlfriends and wives in two posts before, Respect Her…Just Not During Sex” and “Good Girls Want Facials, Too.”  In “Respect Her…”  I wrote about women who were sexually unfulfilled in a relationship because their boyfriends refused to partake in certain sexual acts with them. In “Good Girls…” I talked about a discussion I witnessed where men felt that ejaculating on a woman’s face was only reserved for women they weren’t in relationships with. It was an act they refused to participate in with their significant others, even if their significant others requested it.

I reasoned in both articles that men are raised to put their significant others on a certain level of “respectability.” Unfortunately, in placing her on that level, a man may refuse to “sully” his woman by not taking part in sexual acts he reserves for women he’d never date seriously. In “Good Girls…” I said,

…boys are taught that “bad” girls have sex too soon. Men have grown up believing that anytime a woman “gives it up” too fast or she’s too good at sex, she’s a “bad” girl. Since society has said women who enjoy sex are bad and men are taught to marry “good” women, there’s a dynamic created where “good” girls are considered marriage material and “bad” girls are to be used to fulfill sexual needs then discarded…

While this might not be the general practice for all men, I have it on good authority there are men who seek out pleasurable experiences with other women because they believe they can’t do it with their girlfriends/wives. Whether that’s appropriate is debatable, but it’d be a losing bet to say it doesn’t happen.

Outside of sex, men might share something else with a woman other than his significant other, simply because he believes his woman isn’t into it. Whether it’s sports, video games, rock climbing, music discussions, etc., if a man feels his woman isn’t into the same things he won’t share those experiences with his woman. From an outside perspective one might say, “well if he’s not comfortable doing something with his girlfriend/wife then why the hell is he with her in the first place?” The simple answer is relationships are founded on all kinds of principles and it depends on why he’s with her in the first place.

For example, a man may be with a woman because she’s a good listener, has a great head on her shoulders and she’s an all around fantastic woman. He fell in love with that woman because of what she did and how she made him feel, not necessarily because they have the same things in common. If he likes sports, hates museums, and frequents sneaker stores while his woman hates sports, loves museums and would rather be at an art gallery, they might find it more prudent to enjoy those activities with other people instead of with each other.

In that case, should a man have a female accomplice better suited for those activities, he may opt to ask her instead of  his woman. Personally, if I’m with someone and I know there are certain things they don’t like, even if they’re willing to go, I’d rather not ask. I don’t like to ask people to do things I know they’re not enthused about doing and rather than force my woman to go, I’d rather just go with someone else who’d appreciate the experience.

When it comes to sex and an innumerable amount of other activities, a man may choose to participate in activities with other women. While in the case of sex it can be seen as a problematic gesture that may create problems in a relationship, when it comes to other situations like common interests, it’s not a huge deal. Sometimes, some people are just better suited for certain activities and that should be cool…unless of course, those activities violate the relationship. Then, you’re in trouble.


For more on RealGoesRight’s opinions on men and women, be sure to check him out with the all-star collective of black men writers over on SingleBlackMale.Org. If you prefer something a bit more direct, feel free to follow him on Twitter at @RealGoesRight and subscribe to his blog at RealGoesRight.Com.

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