Are We Really Interested In Danity Kane?

September 24, 2013  |  

So, the newly reunited Danity Kane made an appearance during the iHeart Radio Music Festival in Las Vegas, where they sang a medley of all their hits: all one of them.

The video of their acapella version of their classic hit single “Damaged” is here. There is nothing spectacular about their performance but they sound alright for a group that hasn’t been together for over four years. But that’s about it, really. And I feel that lackluster “it” is why I’m just not really excited about a Danity Kane reunion.

In fact, when I stop to really think about it: I don’t know a single person with one of their albums. Nor do I ever recall hearing one of their songs blasting from anyone’s car radios – and I’ve traveled in some real musically diverse ‘hoods. Although I have seen their names and faces on the scene – musically they weren’t very memorable. I know how this sounds but I prefer not to think of this as shade. I like Danity Kane too – as reality television show stars.

Even though the group had some success on the pop music scene, more specifically having their self-titled debut album reach the top spot on the Billboard charts, I honestly feel that had Danity Kane been some average girl band discovered outside of the wildly popular “Making the Band” series, most folks would not have given these singers a second listen. If we are being totally honest, a major part of their appeal is what we got to witness on the show. More specifically, watching to see who was going to survive the auditions, particularly Laurieann Gibson and her Boom, Boom, Kack routines. And then after making the cut, watching as the girls struggle to cut an album and create identities. And I’m speaking of course of Aubrey, who physically morphed from a cheerful every white girl next door into this big boobed- live action version of Jessica Rabbit. Although she had totally changed it was fun watching her go at it with Puffy, who felt that he should be the only one to have a say in their appearances and attitudes. And we also watched to see: if Aundrea Fimbres would ever develop a backbone; when D. Woods would finally get tired of this mess and throw deuces at the band; and if Shannon Bex’s vocal abilities would ever manage to match her fancy footwork, which unfortunately, it never did.

Watching the girl group go through and then eventually overcome shaky voices; in-fighting and all of the sadist and unnecessary craziness that Puffy would bestow upon these young girls all in the name of band-making (as well as television ratings), was why we tuned into Danity Kane. We wanted them to win because they had put up with enough crap, worked hard and deserved it. And we were glad that they did. So much so that we stuck around for the Battle of the Sexes years of “Making The Band,” where the girls were forced to share a house and compete for studio time with other Puffy rejects Donnie and Day 26. But that was nearly five years ago. Not much has been seen or heard from the group members since they’d disbanded in 2009, outside of Dawn Richards, who was fortunate enough to extend her 15 minutes by catching a hitch on Puffy’s Dirty Money train.

Truthfully without another season of “Making the Band,” I just don’t see a Danity Kane reunion going anywhere. Musically, they are kind of boring. Their voices are boring and so is their style, which offers little to set them apart in an already crowded industry. And at a time when record sales are slumping and even the biggest names are struggling to sell albums, ordinary artists, who haven’t had a hit in well over five years, can’t afford to blend musically into the landscape. Not when Beyoncé is earning each and every dollar and fan by doing cartwheels over monster trucks in six inch stilettos and six packs of the purest Peruvian virgin hair from an actual virgin while holding Blue Ivy in one hand and the careers of Kelly, Michelle and Keri Hilson in the other. Nope, a lusterless acapella version of a song that folks barely remember isn’t going to cut it.

Okay, reading this post back to myself, it definitely sounds pretty shady. But I can not tell a lie. And while nostalgia is a wonderful thing but that is not enough to revive long forgotten careers. Old fans of the show might be excited for a minute but their enthusiasm will not be enough to compete with the younger generation of actual music buyers, who have only vague remembrance of both the show and the group. Plus out of all of the bands Puffy cobbled together out of street orphans, I probably would want to see a Da Band reunion happen first. I mean, Danity Kane had it pretty easy next to the crew that walked from Manhattan to Flatbush Ave in Brooklyn for some damn cheesecake (if it was me, I would have stopped off at the closest supermarket and got him an Entenmann’s crumb cake with cream cheese filling. You can call that paying dues but where are they now? Case closed). Not to mention, the show featured the five best rappers of all time: Dylan, Dylan ,Dylan, Dylan and my most favorite, Dylan.

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