Put That Away! Ways Men Try To Throw Their Packages In Our Faces

October 2, 2013  |  
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Men like to think they’re slick. When they want you to look, they’ll do anything to bring your attention to “it’s” direction. But these bold moves are totally on our radar. These are the the classic “look at my junk” moves that guys love to pull.

Wearing Speedos

You know you have some longer swim shorts in your closet. Now I can’t stop looking.

Standing With Their Crotch In Your Face on the Subway

They’re standing up, you’re sitting down and it’s a long awkward ride home.

Sitting With Their Legs Wide Open

And then they’re always looking you dead in the eyes while they’re doing it.

Grinding On You When It’s Rock Hard

Grinding can be exciting, but you should take a minute to calm down before there’s chafing.

Scratching Themselves In Public

Super not hot.

Just Grabbing It

It’s a really bold move, but some brothers aren’t afraid to grab hold to make sure you get a peek.

Tight Jeans

Ugh. I’m trying not to check it out but I can’t look away.

Smedium Gym Shorts

They’re just a little too small and now I can see an outline of your business when I’m trying to get my elliptical on.

Bike Shorts

Just yuck. And it’s always somebody’s middle-aged daddy.

The From-Behind Hug

And it’s always when they’re trying to “show you how” to do something. Back up. This isn’t “Ghost.”

Short Shorts

These are just dangerous. Even though you can’t see it you’re always worried that it’s going to slip out. Gross.

Sweat Pants

That thing isn’t properly holstered and they know it.

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