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The beautiful, talented and super transparent Jill Scott recently sat down with Rolling Out. During her chat, the Baggage Claim actress opened up about what getting a divorce has taught her about love, raising her son, Jett, and why finding true love takes dedication. Check out her interview highlights below.

On lessons that she intends to teach her son, Jett:

“There are some things I have to instill in him as we move along. I need him to be a thinker. I don’t believe we have to make ourselves fit into someone’s comfortable space. This is a real world and we are real people. Compassion for other people counts. You have to think about your surroundings — with the world, not just America. Be mindful of where you are, and I hate to say it, but be on guard. That burns me up that I have to think about my own protection. It’s a part of where we are, where we have always been. It’s just open now. I prefer [racism] to be open and in my face. At least I know what I’m dealing with. We all know what we’re dealing with.”

On reality TV’s negative portrayal of Blacks:

“If I’m in another country and all I see [are] McDonald’s commercials, why wouldn’t I think that’s what America is? When the representation of an entire people is based on fictitious reality shows, it builds a certain box of who and what we are. To be perfectly frank, we’ve got the wives of doctors fighting in ball gowns. The television and the Internet are creating boxes for us and I believe we are starting to fall for it. Why wouldn’t everybody else? [There] has to be a balance. We’re not so simple. I think that’s a big part of the problem. You can’t expect someone to think differently if they are only shown a specific image. Unfortunately, it’s a tarnished image.”

On why finding true love is hard:

“Love is hard. Finding someone to fall in love with is the hardest part of all. Infatuation is easy. We get caught up in someone’s looks, or their money, but not the person. Or, we’re into someone for a couple of months and then the novelty fades and we’re on to the next. Love is bigger than just the emotion for the moment. Love requires patience. It requires communication. It requires and demands mutual respect and understanding. In this quick-paced world, we want immediate gratification. Our idea of love and having that is great, but the immediate gratification of having it all is what most people are after in this microwavable world. That’s what makes it such a challenge. We have to change our mentality if we want relationships that will last. Finding someone or meeting someone who is equally yoked — that’s major. Not just financially, but someone who is willing to participate with you in life and love. All of those things are what I was told to look for.”

“It’s not about falling for just anybody. You want to love the whole person. I think we’re all on a hunt. I think everybody wants to be loved and appreciated and wanted. But, you can’t just choose whoever fits the bill. There has to be a connection in a very real way. You have to be there through the good and bad times. I think this movie opens the door for us to explore those thoughts. It’s funny, it’s cute, and it’s very romantic.”

On what divorce taught her about marriage:

“When it was time to go, it was time to go. I now know if I were to ever get married again, it’s all the way or we’re not going. We’re not making that next move at all. That’s the issue with me. That means I have to find someone willing to make that same exact commitment. If not, life is good. Fruit is sweet, traveling is awesome, and family is healthy. I’ll live, but I would prefer to sit and love someone equally. I’m understanding love even more because I have a child. I know regardless of what he does; spill juice all over the floor or draw on the wall, that I still love him anyway. I still want his company. I still have a deep desire to hold his hand. That’s the next level of love regardless of what’s going on. We still care for one another. We’ve lost a lot of that.”

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