Don’t Run From It! Why You Should Be Dating Men Like Your Father
Disclaimer: these tips only apply if you had a healthy relationship with your father. If you can easily say you like your dad, keep reading. But if your father was abusive or you no longer have a relationship (or never had one), then skip to the next article.
He’ll make you feel protected
If your boyfriend resembles your father in a lot of ways, you’ll always feel safe around him. And feeling safe is one of the first things a woman has to feel with a man before she can bond to him.
You know how you want to navigate the relationship
You watched how your mom navigated being with your father. You basically already have a blueprint for this relationship! You’ll know how to cheer him up, what annoys him, when to leave him alone and when to comfort him.
You’ll know his stress points
If your boyfriend really does share character traits with your father, as well as aspirations and dreams in life, then you can predict what areas cause him a lot of anxiety, what not to bring up, and what areas he needs a lot of support and encouragement.
You are like your mother, whether you like it or not
She may get under your skin sometimes, but you share a lot of traits with your mother. There’s a reason she and your dad were a good match, and those are probably the same reasons you and a guy similar to your dad would be a good match.
You’ll expect compliments
As you should! Women cut their boyfriends too much slack today. But a guy should encourage you, take an interest in your career, and tell you how you’re great every day. If a man reminds you of your father, you’ll naturally expect that treatment. And that’s a good thing.
You’ll have similar educational backgrounds
Your father probably pushed you to the same educational goals that he himself reached. And many studies have shown that couples with similar educational backgrounds have more successful relationships, so if your partner talks like your dad, walks like your dad, and reads like your dad, odds are they achieved similar academic success.
You’ll feel comfortable speaking up
You didn’t worry if you sounded silly or too demanding around your dad; if you were upset you said so! And if your feelings were hurt you said so. If you wanted more affection you asked for it. If you needed something, you spoke up. If your boyfriend channels your father, you’ll feel comfortable speaking up in the relationship. So you’ve got the communication area covered.
That “I’ve known him forever” feeling is there
And that’s a great feeling—you know, the one you get sometimes when you meet someone and feel you could tell them anything. They seem to slip effortlessly into your life. You can enjoy comfortable silences after only 30 minutes of knowing each other.
You can predict what kind of father he will be
That’s a nice perk! And, looking back, now that the teenage tantrums are over and you’re an adult, you probably respect and understand your dad’s parenting methods. You wouldn’t mind the father of your own kids parenting that way too, right?
Your father will like him
That’s a no-brainer. But this can actually be really tough with boyfriends! Daddy is protective of his little girl. But if he sees a younger version of himself in the guy you bring around, you’ve got that issue in the bag.
Your mother will like him
Well, duh. She’ll find him charming and adorable just like she did your father when they first met.
You’ll share a sense of humor
Humor is a major bonding point. Most couples can’t survive if they don’t understand one another’s senses of humor. Even if you don’t exactly share the same one, you’ll get your boyfriend’s nerdy jokes if they’re just like your dad’s. And you’ll love them for that reason.
You’ll feel motivated around him
Your dad’s job in life was to be your top cheerleader. He encouraged you to take risks and go after your dreams. If your boyfriend reminds you of your dad, he could be a major source of motivation for your career. And that’s crucial because many boyfriends can actually be a drain on it!
You can predict how he’ll be when he gets older
Want to know what life will look like in ten, twenty, even thirty years with your guy? Just look at your parents.