Signs You’re Suffering From More Than Just Cold Feet

August 13, 2013  |  
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It’s not uncommon for the bride and groom-to-be to be overwhelmed by feelings of doubt before the big day. This is often known as cold feet, and while not everyone suffers from it, there are plenty of people who do. However, in some cases, the hesitation to tie the knot can mean much more than just cold feet. It might signify that you really aren’t ready. Here are a few signs something more serious is going on.

You don’t want to get married

Once he popped the question, you felt inclined to say yes because you really didn’t want to hurt his feelings and deep down you do care for him. But, when you take a step back, you realize that you don’t want to get married, and you’re only doing so because of pressure or some sort of guilt. If you’re not feeling it, don’t do it.

You ask “should I get married?”

When you have to ask yourself and your girlfriends whether or not you should get married, there is a huge red flag that you need to take into consideration. If you have to ask, then you generally know the answer, you just don’t want to admit to it. Having to poll your friends to determine whether or not you should get married is a huge sign that the impending marriage shouldn’t even happen.

You think about being single

Men are often the ones who are weighed down by the old ball and chain, but women can feel the exact same way, even before the wedding. Just thinking about being committed to someone forever puts you into an immediate funk. You want to satisfy your curiosity of being single while still enjoying the security of a relationship.

You don’t spend a lot of time with your fiance

Whether you do it intentionally or not, when you don’t spend a lot of time with your fiance, how is a marriage ever going to work? If you find yourself traveling alone more often than not, then maybe marriage isn’t for you after all. Avoiding spending time with the person you’re supposed to be spending the rest of your life with is a clue that something isn’t right.

You’re feeling a huge sense of doubt

Doubt and wedding planning go hand-in-hand. You doubt the wedding dress you picked, what your wedding colors should be, and how your whole day will pan out. However, if you’re doubting things such as the idea that this guy isn’t the one you should be marrying or doubting that the marriage will last, then this wedding shouldn’t happen. Having some doubt is normal, but doubting the important things is a clear sign that things aren’t how they should be.

You really don’t care about wedding planning

No matter if you like planning or not, the fact is that most brides feel at least some sort of excitement when it’s their turn to plan their fairytale wedding. However, if you have had very little interest in planning the wedding, maybe now is a good time to step back and figure out why. If you’re answering most wedding details with “whatever” then there is a big problem brewing.

You’re thinking about someone else, a lot

It’s not uncommon for you to think back to your ex-relationships before you get married. But, if you’re sitting at home wondering what your life would be like if you were with your ex still or if you’d feel better internally if your husband was one of your ex-partners, what you’re experiencing is not just cold feet. When you’re still hung up over an ex, now is not the time to get married.

You keep reflecting on the bad

When you think about why you’re getting married, nothing floods your brain but bad thoughts. You think about how you and your man argue a lot. How he didn’t bring you flowers that one time. The time he embarrassed you in front of his family. Reflection before the wedding should be all about reasons to marry this man, not reasons you shouldn’t.

Recently you’ve been crying a lot

Wedding planning can be a huge ball of stress, and we all know that stress can lead to all sorts of emotions, some of which may cause you to cry. But if you find yourself moping around and crying because you feel like you’re in too deep and you can’t back out with this guy and the wedding, you clearly don’t want to move forward either.

You’ve pushed back the date before

Things happen, and in rare circumstances, people have to reschedule their wedding dates for various conflicts. However, if the two of you rescheduled the wedding because of stress, cold feet, or because of doubt and being unsure of things, this may be a reminder that this wedding just shouldn’t happen. Pushing back the date for emotion-based reasons is never a good start to things.

You aren’t in love

Maybe at some point you were in love with your fiance, but you find that you’ve fallen out of love. Or maybe you were never in love to begin with. When you are no longer in love, getting married is almost useless. Unless you have some sort of plan of action to fix things, marriage shouldn’t happen.

You’re too scared to leave

This goes along with peer pressure and societal standards of marriage. If you want to leave your fiance, simply enough, you shouldn’t marry him. Even if he treats you great, can support you, and cares about you, if you aren’t in it for the long run, don’t pretend that you are. Things could end up worse down the line if you don’t end it now.

Your gut says no

Even if you try to put on your happiest face and to make things work, deep down you know that something isn’t right. If you have that gut feeling that the wedding is impending doom instead of impending happiness, there’s no sense in fooling yourself any longer. Break things off instead of dragging him and yourself along.

You’re back to unhealthy habits

When a wedding is on the horizon, most brides find themselves trying to look as good as possible. But, you’ve found yourself meddling in bad and unhealthy habits instead. You’ve started drinking a lot and that exercise regime you followed for months is well out the window. This is a sign that you just don’t care, and you’re in a bad place.

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