The other day, I promptly “unfriended” a dude on Facebook who thought it was cute to post distasteful pictures of scantily clad women on his timeline. This is something that lately I do quite liberally, with no regrets. Each time, I still wonder to myself, exactly what were these women thinking when they posed for these booty shots for Instagram or posted their “twerk videos” on YouTube and Vine?
Last month at Essence Festival, Iyanla Vanzant talked about this and she hit the nail so far on the head, she had me doing the wop dance in the audience. “Black women are completely out of order,” she said. All of these online “models” immediately came to mind. You know, the ones who appear so thirsty for validation that they sell themselves for cheap, often times even before the fellas even place a bid. Can I please get a glass of “you need to stop,” hold the ice?
You have to ask yourself if these sisters know that women are continuously being systematically devalued by our society, and worse, that women like them aren’t helping the problem. Ladies, this behavior is completely out of order.
My guess is, these bold ladies aren’t aware of the consequences and implications because our society tells them that glamour and raunchiness are one in the same. No one tells the women who walk around dressed like Beyonce’ at one of her concerts that Hot celebs like Rihanna are just selling the fantasy and not necessarily living it. And, let’s not forget how video vixens and Adult Videos stars are given ginormous paychecks for letting the world into their bedrooms and then idolized for it. These days, one strategically leaked sex tape can launch an entire entertainment empire. (see: The Kardashians) With all of that hoopla and attention coming from negative images, how can a young woman recognize the harm to herself and other women that she’s really doing?
Naturally many men and women will disagree with me on this one and use words like “jealous” and “hater.” After all, it is men that are the immediate subscribers and beneficiaries of all these free online peep shows. But ladies, mark my words: A man respects a woman based on his perception of her own self-respect.
Read more at Essence.com