15 Things We Can’t Believe We Let Guys Get Away With In College
It’s terrifying to think that some college-relationships-turned-marriages were founded on these types of behaviors; poor girls never knew what else was out there. Remember the stuff we put up with?
Finally “meeting up” at midnight
You’d talk to a guy early in the week or day about meeting up on Friday night. You were going to be out with your girls, he was going to be out with his boys. You’d say you’d “work it out.” What ended up happening was at midnight, once he was drunk and hadn’t found anyone else, you’d finally hear sign of life from him and he’d tell you where he was. Oh yeah—and of course his “phone was dead” or “there was no service” until then.
The “Hi” text message
That’s it. That’s allll it would say. “Hi.” And you would feel certain that meant the guy liked you. In fact, he liked you so much that he was tongue tied. Or, text tied…? Either way, you would take it from there, asking all the questions and engaging him in conversation. Essentially making it so easy for him to eventually say, “Wanna come over?” without doing any work.
“Well, we weren’t exclusive…”
You’d been texting a guy daily, hanging out a few nights a week for a couple of months, thinking you were on your way to a relationship, and then you’d catch him with another girl. And he would say, “Well, we weren’t exclusive…” And, you’d allow him to use the excuse that you hadn’t explicitly stated you were exclusive. You might have even kept seeing him.
Going to Europe and not calling for a month
He was on vacation. His phone didn’t work. He didn’t have Internet access. He wasn’t obligated to reach out while he was enjoying himself. Yeah right! Today, you would never tolerate a guy going on a trip and not reaching out for a month! Let alone three days! Communication is one of the pillars of any good relationship.
Pushing your head in that direction, or saying, “Well, that doesn’t mean I can’t feel good” when you were on your period. Can you believe you didn’t slap a guy for that behavior?
You’d tell yourself he just wasn’t a cuddler, or that he wasn’t sure if you were a cuddler, or that he was exhausted or in a hurry. Puh-lease. If a guy has feelings for you, or at least respects you, he cuddles you after sex so you don’t feel like a piece of meat.
Leaving bed to hang with his roommates
Remember when going to a guy’s house meant passing his four roommates, chugging beer on the couch? Remember when, after sleeping with a guy, he’d hop out of bed and re-join his buddies for the next fun activity on his schedule, leaving you to crawl out of their, sex hair and all, alone?!
Not buying you a birthday present
You’d tell yourself he was on a student’s budget, or the relationship wasn’t really serious yet so gifts weren’t mandatory, or that maybe he didn’t want to scare you off by getting you something. Now you know any decent human being gets another human being they are socially affiliated with a gift—even if it’s just a card and a flower.
Letting you pay over and over again
It’s cool that you were happy to share mom and dad’s money. But guess what: he had a mom and dad too. And if he didn’t have money coming in from somewhere, he shouldn’t have been “taking you out.” He should have been cooking for you or planning picnics or getting creative. Letting the lady pay over and over again is so not classy.
Not putting a label on it…for a year
Remember how you’d be stuck in those “I don’t know what we are” situations for a year?! A WHOLE YEAR! Today, if a guy doesn’t state, one way or another, that you’re in a relationship after three months of dating, you know he’s dating others on the side, or would like to be.
Take you into a room at a party
A) He’d deprive you of hanging with your friends, who you came there to see B) He’d mess up the hair, makeup and outfit you spent hours on and C) He’d make you feel like he was just in it for the sex, because he couldn’t just go an hour without needing it.
Keeping flirtation to online
You know the guy: the one who looked adorable in his Facebook pics, and would send you a dependable, “How’s it going” private message every night. You’d get into long, intimate conversations but he would never ask you to hang out! Now you know that guy just wanted some female attention on the side of a real relationship he was already in.
Not getting dressed when you’d come over
Could they be any more obvious that they don’t respect you? They don’t even bother to put pants on. Obviously going on a real date was out the window. Heck, leaving his place was out the window. Why didn’t he just open the door unclothed with a condom in his hand like he really wanted to?
Ask for nude pictures
Today, a guy you’ve been with for a while can do this and it’s cute. But asking this of a girl when you’ve just met??? In college, that was just a power play for guys.
Trying to get some in front of his roommates
The two or four-bed dorm room was a struggle. Guys aren’t ones for making arrangements ahead of time so if you two were hanging out and one of his roommates was home and already in the bed, the guy likely tried to still get some and convince you that “he’s sleep” and “he can’t hear us.”