Things I Thought I Knew About Men And Realized I Didn’t

August 27, 2013  |  



I thought I knew a lot about men until multiple men proved me wrong. While I’ve finally realized that men and women are utterly different creatures, it’s still taken some time to grasp those things that make us unique. Seriously, lately everything I thought I knew about the opposite sex has been objected by, well…the opposite sex

If you don’t know something, it’s always a bad idea to assume that you do. According to many men that I spoke with, this is a common theme with the women that they date. Basically, we think we know, but have no idea. I’ve learned that in relationships, ignorance isn’t bliss. So I’ve tried to understand the men I date as opposed to assuming that I already know how they feel.

Being a know-it-all, it’s not easy to relinquish my self-proclaimed knowledge and just listen and attempt to understand a man. Previously, I wrote an article “8 Men Myths,” explaining the most prevalent misconceptions men say women have about them; but since then I’ve realized that all men are different, and while they have some similarities, no one man is alike. And the only way to find out about your man is to understand that he’s very different from you and then listen to what he has to say. Basically, be quiet, pay attention and assume nothing about your man’s attitude and behavior.

I’ve always thought that silence meant he doesn’t care. Over time, I’ve realized that it could mean that he doesn’t know what to say or how to say it. And the worst way to try to remedy that situation is by forcing him to express himself when he’s not ready. I’ve learned the hard way that no one, man or woman, likes to be forced into anything. Trying to get a man to talk when he wants to do anything but talk can be a relationship killer.

In addition, I used to believe that every man could be changed with just a little assistance from yours truly. Not only did this prove to be wrong, but my feelings usually ended up hurt in the process. Men don’t want you trying to change them, even if it’s for the better, and dating a man’s potential isn’t always a method of compromising but instead a recipe for disaster.

Instead, suggest things to him that you would like him to do and if he seems annoyed, then just let it go; and if you can’t, maybe you should go instead. Trying to change him will usually end with resentment.

Every woman has a group of misconceptions about men. Whether it’s his feelings about sex on the first date to dating a woman who makes more money, we have to finally come to the realization that every man is different. And trying to figure them out based on what you or your girlfriends would or wouldn’t do is like comparing apples and oranges: it just doesn’t make sense.

As I continue to learn more about the opposite sex in my relationships, I’m taking bits and pieces of the past with me while being open to learning more about each man that I meet. And in the process, I’m assuming nothing and listening more.

What are some of the things you thought you knew about men but in time realized that you didn’t?

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