The Lies You Believe About Sex On The First Date

July 19, 2013  |  




From YourTango

Okay all you single gals wondering if you should go for it when you meet a hot guy. In a recent post by, Mary Elizabeth Williams talks about how “decades of sexual liberation” haven’t erased the stigma of being too easy when you sleep with a man on the first date.

Her “radical idea” is that men, not just women need to consent to sex on the first date. Seriously? Has she been on a first date lately? How many men has she met that stepped back and say “No thanks, we should wait”? Most men feel sexual prowess by having multiple partners, but don’t want to think the women they date have been around.

Mary’s article refers to a new book called It’s Okay to Sleep With Him on the First Date by Andrea Syrtash and Jeff Wilser. Syrtash and Wilser interviewed several women and men who had first date sex to discover what happened. Turns out three out of eight women interviewed found lasting love, but five (62%) had regrets and never saw the guy again.

The big lie about first date sex is that it’s NOT about:
• Which gender needs to  consent
• If a woman should make a man wait
• If women manipulate men so they’ll want you more
• Avoiding being considered slutty

The problem is not about sleeping together too quickly or what men think. It’s about your expectations and emotional state after sex.

Maybe there are fewer men today holding the double standard about sex. As a dating coach for women over 40, honestly I don’t care what men think about this. I care passionately about what you think and how you feel.

If you want to have first date sex, be safe and smart to stay healthy. Other than that, feel free to do as you like if you have excellent self-esteem, don’t care what he thinks or if you ever see him again or want to enjoy a variety of sexual partners. Heck, you’re a liberated woman and can do as you please. According to a New York Times article, college coeds today are having more casual sex than the guys!


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