Have a small wedding, big party
Consider having the actual ceremony be very small—just four or five witnesses. And then have the big event be the party. Your family will feel less strongly about the specifics of the party.
Remember the line “It just doesn’t feel right”
(Especially when dealing with your mother)
Because women rely strongly on intuition and respect gut feelings, this line will be very powerful. Sometimes, you’ll be out of reasons, or the energy to argue, and this line will save you. Nobody wants to argue with the bride’s intuition.