My Apology To Meagan Good: I Was Wrong To Judge You

July 12, 2013  |  

Dear Meagan,

I wish I were writing this letter on behalf of all those in the Christian community who didn’t look at you on stage at the BET Awards and pass judgement, but I’m not. Instead, I’m writing as one who was actually on-air expressing my concerns about your attire. In the midst of a casual, comical discussion of the BET Awards, I mentioned your dress, wanting to stop short of judgement, but nevertheless I succumbed. I tried to clean it up afterwards, but the damage had already been done. My words sparked conversation amongst our listeners who also chimed in (via Twitter) with their judgmental commentary, and although you more than likely weren’t tuned in to our little radio show to hear, I felt horrible. To know that I passed judgement on another human being and, by doing so, invited others to do the same, is shameful.

I recently read your response to all the backlash, and my heart burned. It’s a shame how easy it is for us to throw out words about people with no thought of how those words will affect them — as if celebrities aren’t real people with real feelings. I will admit, Meagan, that I think you are a beautiful woman who is in a position as a pastor’s wife to show young girls and women how to be beautifully modest, in accordance with what our Christian faith promotes. Nevertheless, no one deserves to be socially stoned as you have been.

Others might ridicule and act without compassion, but why do Christians do this to each other? When we do it, it’s in direct contrast to the founder and perfecter of our faith; even knowing that, somehow that doesn’t stop us. It didn’t stop me. And I realized today just why. I fail to acknowledge things in my life that would raise eyebrows if they were broadcasted for all to see — my thoughts alone, not to mention my actions, would be embarrassing enough. All the things which might not be on stage at the BET Awards for everyone to analyze—but are certainly still in my heart, which God is highly acquainted with—would leave me covered in a pile of stones, had it not been for grace.  I could only look at you with such a judgmental stare, because I’m not being honest with who I see in the mirror. God looks at the heart, so it doesn’t matter how covered I am when I walk around. He sees all of our sin-filled hearts that need repairing. He knows why we do everything we do, and He is the only suitable judge.  Thank you for reminding me, and I hope more people, of that.

The grace you and I both attest to receiving from God, by way of His son Jesus, is not something to be abused, so of course we must continue to allow Him to change us from the inside-out. But not the other way around.

Again, my apologies Meagan for not regarding you as a person, even more a sister in Christ, that I should speak about with compassion or pray for if I had any concerns. I want to encourage you to allow Jesus’ perfect life and reflection of His Father’s holiness to stir you to be the best ambassador you can be, and I am sure of this, that if He began a good work in you, He will bring it to completion. As He must also do for my judgmental and often hypocritical heart.

Grace and Peace

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