For the past decade, I have been totally focused on creating a path to authentic joy and my friendships are a huge part of that. A good home girl can pick you up, break you down and rebuild you all inside 10 minutes, and there won’t be an ounce of love lost between you. Quality time with the wonderful women in my world just makes me key lime cupcake happy.
But, there’s not always Florida sunshine in the land of sisterhood. There are some women that just make you wish you had magic zapping powers so you can shock them with two bolts of “act right.” (C’mon, you know you’ve thought about it!)
Last year I met a young lady (let’s call her Ursula) at a networking event, and we hit it off just fine. We stayed connected and met for drinks a few times, but somehow our Girls Night Out always turned into her needing my “professional opinion” about something. By the second time this happened, I decided to set some boundaries with Ursula, and I informed her that all business discussions would have to be considered consulting and conducted during business hours. We both laughed it off and enjoyed our night. But that was the last time I ever saw her one-on-one. She never made an attempt to hang out with me again. It turned out that she only pretended to be interested in getting to know me to pump me for advice.
Sadly, this kind of thing isn’t new to me, and I’ve had to learn to notice the signs that pop up when a budding friendship is doomed, or even a seasoned one for that matter. When it becomes clear that a friendship is an epic fail, there is nothing left to do but cut the ties with hedge clippers and move on to greener gardens.
Here are a few types of women that I have learned to steer clear of:
Ursula User – The self centered taker that manipulates and maneuvers everyone and everything to only benefit herself.
Wendy Whiner – She always complains about her problems but never focuses on finding any solutions. Maybe I should introduce her to my Complaint Diet.
Gloria Gossip – I’m not much for gossip, I’ve always seen it as a total waste of time. I would much rather spend my time creating my ideal life. Besides, my mama always said, “A dog that will bring a bone, will also take a bone.” Translation: I will be on the gossip menu next!
Read more at Essence.com