Put Your Freakum Dress On! And 13 Other Ways To Tame First Date Nerves

July 17, 2013  |  
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When you’re going on your very first date with a guy, it’s likely that you’re going to feel a bit nervous, anxious, and excited all at once. While these emotions are plenty normal, they can impact how successful your first date is. It’s best to be able to stick these emotions in the back of your head so that you can really focus and enjoy your date. Here are 14 ways to tame first date nerves.

Figure out what’s making you nervous

Before you can begin to settle your nerves, you’ll have to figure out what exactly is making you so nervous. Are you nervous about how you will act and look? Are you nervous because you’re not 100% sure of your yourself? Before you can start making yourself  less nervous, you’ll have to really think about what’s making you feel that way.

Think about past first dates

Surely you’ve been in first dates in the past. Were they so bad? Did you last through them? Were you able to move on in the event that the date was bad? Instead of dwelling on these negative feelings, think back to past dates you’ve been on in the past and realize that you made it through them.

Pump yourself up

Along with nerves can come plenty of negative emotions and feelings. Instead of beating yourself down and making yourself feel even worse, find ways to pump yourself up and make yourself happier. Play some happy music, put on some clothes that make you look and feel amazing, and think about everything that makes you great.

Don’t be self-defeating

Feeling anxious and nervous can sometimes become self-defeating. Don’t let yourself dwell on these emotions as that will only make you feel even more nervous. Think more positive emotions and thoughts. Your anxiety will pass and your bad thoughts will be replaced with more positive ones.

Get excited

You can still be a bit nervous and be excited at the same time. Get excited about the fact that you’re going on a date with a really nice man. Be happy that you’ve found a guy who may possibly be the one you spend a lot of time with and grow a lasting bond together. Positive thoughts go really far.

Release some endorphins

Endorphins are your body’s natural way of being happy both physically and mentally. Exercising is one of the best known ways to release endorphins. Go for a run before your date. Do some yoga — anything to get your body to release endorphins will naturally make you feel a lot better.

Give him a quick call or text

Sometimes talking to your guy before the first date can calm your nerves. Hearing his voice or being able to read a few texts from him can be somewhat relaxing and it can definitely settle your mind. It’s more likely than not that he is plenty nervous as well!

Remember it’s just a date

At the end of the night, your date is just a date. It’s a short and single event that you’ll be able to get through. Remind yourself that this isn’t a life or death situation nor is it a situation that will be super impacting. It’s just a date, and no matter the outcome, you can get through it.

Ground yourself

Instead of getting yourself all worked up about this first date and thinking the worst of the worst, keep yourself grounded. Realize that this is only a date, and nothing more. You’re not going in for a job interview nor are you going on this date to be judged. Tell yourself that you can do this, and that you will have a good time with this man.

Understand the realities of dating

Dating can either go really bad, really well, or somewhere in the middle. This means that your first date can go well or it can go badly. Though we all want to be able to go on a successful first date, there are no guarantees.

Have a plan

Having a plan before you go on a date can really make the experience that much more enjoyable, as opposed to it being nerve-wracking. Know what type of questions you want to ask your date to get the conversation started. Have a plan of what interesting things you want to tell him about yourself. Gather your thoughts beforehand and your nerves will melt away.

Call a friend for a pep talk

Sometimes talking to one of your best girl friends can make your pre-date jitters go away. Call one of your friends and talk to her about your upcoming date, your feelings, and what you’re thinking. Your friend will more than likely give you a pep talk that will diminish your nervous and anxiety-filled emotions. Positive words from a close friend can work wonders.

Get into the mindset that he’s just a friend

Instead of thinking that the man you’re going on a date with is a possible boyfriend or someone you’ll be having a long-term relationship with, take a step back. Look at this experience as if you’re going on a date with a friend. Seeing this man as a friend will more than likely make you feel a lot more relaxed and comfortable during the date.


One of the simplest and easiest things you can do is to simply just breathe. Take a few deep breaths, calm yourself down, and realize that your nerves are normal, but you can control them. Breathing can make you feel a lot better, and some of your nerves may go away.

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