When writing about relationships, it’s important to keep in mind a great deal of advice depends on the situation of the people involved. Given the unique nature of individual relationships, it’s often difficult to find a “one size fits all” answer. With that in mind, there are situations which can possibly be considered universal “no-no’s.” The question posed in the title is one of them. Ladies, would you like to know how you handle arguments with your man in public? Here’s a simple solution.
Don’t ever argue with your man in public.
I can hear the peanut gallery starting up right now: “What do you mean don’t ever argue with a man in public? Ain’t I a woman? Don’t I have rights? This isn’t the damn 1950s, if I got a problem with my man I need to address it as soon as it happens so he doesn’t think he can run over me, right?” The answers to the aforementioned questions being, “I meant what I said. Yes. Yes. No, you don’t.”
Unless you’re arguing for the sake of arguing you never want to start an argument with anyone, let alone a man, in public. It’s counterproductive, unbelievably tacky, and it’s akin to running on a treadmill. Yeah, you’re getting a good run (of the mouth) but in effect, you’re going nowhere. Fast.
Growing up, my mother taught me there was a time and place for everything. As an adult, I’ve learned certain places are better matches for certain types of activity. I need peace and quiet to study, so instead of heading to the nearest Starbucks when I needed to learn something, I went to the library. In order for me to optimize my workouts, I need to go to the gym. The gym provides all the appropriate tools in order for me to effectively exercise. Sure, I can make up my own routine in my house, but the chances of me succeeding in doing so are significantly higher if I’m in a place conducive to such activities.
Ladies, arguing with your man in public is not conducive to anything other than ill feelings and the brewing of bad blood. If there is a private matter you need to discuss with your mate, you need to keep that matter private. In case you’re unaware of what constitutes a private matter, that means ANYTHING you need to discuss with only your mate needs to stay between the two of you. I’m assuming the purpose of an argument is to come to some sort of conclusion or compromise which will satisfy both parties. It’s going to be a difficult task if you start the journey by humiliating the other party in the argument by blasting all of their personal business to strangers. It’s not that it’s an impossible situation to come back from, but instead of addressing the issue you felt was so urgent at the time, you’ve simply made the mountain that much more difficult to climb.
Ladies, put yourself in the shoes of a man. You’re at the grocery store and decided to have him tag along. During the trip, you’ve done something to offend his sensibilities and before you guys have even gotten a chance to discuss the issue, he’s already making a scene. You notice more and more people are looking in your direction as he angrily raises his voice and lambastes you in front of everyone. Now ask yourself, do you really want to work that problem out now? Wouldn’t you have respected him more if he’d have simply waited a few minutes to get to a spot where the both of you could’ve talked? Are you even able to focus on the issues he’s brought to you, or are you so shocked at what he did the only thing you feel is anger and resentment for how he made you look? Nobody deserves to be embarrassed in that manner. Man or woman.
Ladies, please don’t argue with your man in public. It’s a purposeless endeavor which will only prevent you from getting what I’m assuming you want. You want a man to address your needs, your wants, and hear you out when you have a problem, right? In order for that to happen, I think it’s best for you to present them in a manner which wouldn’t immediately put him in self-defense mode. Public arguments only provide entertainment to the people watching and humiliation to the people involved. Do the right thing, keep your private matters, private.
For more on RealGoesRight’s opinions on men and women, be sure to check him out with the all-star collective of black men writers over on SingleBlackMale.Org. If you prefer something a bit more direct, feel free to follow him on Twitter at @RealGoesRight and subscribe to his blog at RealGoesRight.Com.