On any given Monday, the foolery I witness on “Love & Hip-Hop Atlanta” is mindless entertainment I can delete from my thoughts by 9:01. And then there are times when the situations get a little too real and you begin to really feel for the participants who you are reminded aren’t just characters, like Stevie J and Joseline, but people with real feelings.
Watching Kirk and Rasheeda’s interaction at her photo shoot during last night’s episode was infuriating, disappointing, and frankly, just plain sad. As Rasheeda sat explaining why she was doing a photo shoot before gaining a ton of pregnancy weight, it was baffling to hear her husband of 13 years refer to their unborn child as a “that,” insinuate she was cheating and demand a blood test, and then suggest that she “X that out the picture” — again the “that” being their unborn child. I’ve written before about the right I believe any unmarried man has to request a DNA test to prove a child is his, but when that demand comes from a spouse of many years who has no reason to doubt paternity other than his own conscious, the idea of it all is preposterous and reeks of mid-life crisis and new fame.
As if it wasn’t bad enough to allow himself to be seen on camera telling his wife to get an abortion, Kirk one-upped himself when Rasheeda told him he needs to be a supportive husband, and he retorted, “I don’t wanna be a husband right now, for what?” For what? Maybe because you are a husband, even if you don’t feel like it, and because, even though you’d like to deny it, your wife is pregnant and you will have a son or daughter within the next nine months. Is that not reason enough?
As is often the case with reality TV couples, the cameras can once again be chalked up as the outside culprit contributing to the breakdown of this relationship. No, I don’t believe Kirk was putting on for the cameras — although I wish that were the case — I think he’s gotten a taste of the shine that comes with being a reality TV star (because of his wife’s fame, mind you) and now he wants more. That’s why we see this man taking Instagram shots like the one above in t-shirts that say “almost single,” as if bragging about divorcing your pregnant wife is something to be proud of. Or we see other photos of him surrounded by women who are not his wife and being grabbed in areas one who is married shouldn’t be. He’s starting to believe his own hype and is willing to sacrifice his family just to make sure he lives out every 15 minutes of fame allotted to him.
The situation isn’t new. We all probably know a husband of a friend or relative who bailed when responsibilities increased at home because his career was suddenly soaring, or someone new was paying him a little mind. It’s the basic principle of the 80/20 rule. You sacrifice the 80% of your needs that are being fulfilled to get the 20% you never had before. After all, what man wouldn’t want to hang out poolside with a bunch of half-unclothed women when his wife is at home gaining weight carrying someone that is going to be a financial burden and additional responsibility? Well I can name one type of person who wouldn’t — a man of integrity.
So what’s Rasheeda to do? The obvious answer is she will go on and have her child and be the mother she should be, with or without Kirk’s support. But that’s the simple, cookie cutter response. What’s a woman really to do when she falls into single motherhood rather than chooses it? No, Rasheeda isn’t innocent in the breakdown of the couple’s marriage. We all witnessed her inability to properly communicate her wants and needs with her husband and their struggle to separate business from the personal last season, but there’s something very startling about being in a union where support from your partner in a time like this is expected, but isn’t given, and the adjustment period won’t be easy.
In post-production interviews, both Rasheeda and Kirk have been coy about the true state of their union, but unless Kirk comes to a point of valuing family over fame, I can’t say I expect a happy ending by the season 2 reunion. In the end though, I wouldn’t be surprised if Kirk was the one left more wounded than his potentially soon-to-be ex-wife.
Check out footage of Kirk and Rasheeda’s argument in the video below. What do you think about their situation?