The Dos and Don’ts Of Snooping

June 6, 2013  |  
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Though you may not want to admit it, at some point in time you have Google’d a date’s name, gone through your boyfriend’s clothes drawer, or taken a quick look through his Facebook messages when he accidentally left himself signed in on your computer. To most people, this is definitely considered snooping. The act alone stands as one of the most controversial in the dating world. But, in the end, no matter if you find it right or wrong, if you’re going to snoop, there are some definite do’s and dont’s.

Don’t sugarcoat the act

No matter how you look at it or how little snooping you do, when it comes down to it, the fact is that you’re snooping. There’s no sense in trying to sugarcoat what you’re doing in order to make yourself feel better or more entitled. Take it for what it is: you’re snooping because you suspect that something is going on that is making you nervous.

Figure out your reasoning

Before you go and snoop, figure out exactly why you’re doing it. Is it something that your guy said or did? Has he been acting funny recently? Is he now overly protective of his phone and laptop? Before you snoop, make sure that you know why you’re doing it. Otherwise you may find yourself snooping for no reason.

Don’t jump to conclusions

Once you snoop, you don’t want to jump to any type of conclusions. It’s likely that you’re mad and upset, so your mind is going to wander all over the place. Instead of jumping to conclusions and making up your own story, figure out a plan to talk to your guy about the situation at hand.

Consider just asking questions

Instead of snooping, why don’t you just talk to your man about the concerns you have? By snooping, you’re showing that you not only don’t completely trust your man, but you’re also breaking his trust and invading his privacy. Sometimes just asking a couple questions and voicing your concerns can be a much better situation.

Don’t expect a positive outcome

When you snoop and you eventually fess up to your man or confront him, things are bound to go downhill. He’ll feel that his privacy was invaded and you’ll soon realize that he’s more upset with you than you were with him when you decided to start investigating. Snooping almost rarely results in something positive. So, when you decide to snoop, prepare yourself for a not-so-great couple of nights, or even an ended relationship.

It’s okay to snoop to protect yourself

When you’re going on a first date or maybe even a blind date, snooping can definitely be helpful. You of course don’t want to be going on a date with a convicted felon or a man who is already in a relationship. In this case, snooping is wise and a protection mechanism for you. Snoop away to ensure that your dates are who they say they are.

Don’t cross set lines and limits

When snooping, you can definitely come across certain information that you may not have ever needed to know. If you come across your man’s social security number or his credit card number, no matter how upset you are, don’t cross the line that could get you into legal trouble. Pretend you didn’t see that information at all. Completely block it out of your mind or you may find yourself in some deep trouble.

Be prepared for the worst

Though you’ll want to hope for the best in the fact that you don’t find anything incriminating, when you decide to go snooping, definitely prepare yourself for the worse. Don’t go into snooping thinking that you won’t find anything bad, and that you’re only snooping for reassurance. You’re snooping because something in your mind or in your gut has told you to. Don’t expect to not find anything.

Don’t make it an everyday habit

Snooping every single day will seriously make you go crazy. Once you’ve already found the evidence, what’s the point of continuing to go back for more? On the other hand, if you snoop once and don’t find anything, there’s no need to look a week later to see if something has popped up between then and now. When you do find something or when you don’t, leave it at that. There’s no need to continue.

Have a plan

What will you do if your suspicions are correct? Before you go deep into snooping, you should have a plan in place for every scenario. If you don’t find anything, will you tell your man that you snooped? Do you keep it a secret? Have a plan in mind so that no matter the outcome, you have a plan of action to take.

Don’t delete anything

When you do find some incriminating evidence, you may go into a fit of rage and feel the need to delete everything you’ve just seen. However, deleting the evidence doesn’t do much in your favor. Though you may be angry and sad, don’t delete what’s been found. Keep it where it is and then use it when you decide to approach your man.

Realize the faults in the relationship

Snooping is never a sign of a trust-filled or healthy relationship. When you get to the point of having to snoop on your partner, it is clear that something is wrong. Even if you snoop and don’t find anything worth mentioning, don’t forget the fact that you clearly have little trust in your guy. This is something that’ll need to be worked out, ASAP.

Prepare for regret to set in

Once you’ve snooped, you will eventually feel a sense of regret, especially if your suspicions are confirmed. In a way you’ll feel as though you’d probably still be okay if you never knew at all. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, and when you find something that you don’t like, you can easily start to place the blame on yourself.

Be prepared to apologize

No matter the outcome of your snooping, you’ll truly want to apologize at the end of everything. Even if your partner was in the wrong, you were too. An apology won’t fix things, but it’ll help you understand that the both of you did things wrong.

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