Testing 1,2,3: How To Stop Pushing Your Boo’s Buttons
Do you find yourself setting up “tests” for your partner in order to measure his love for you? It is not uncommon for partners to test each other. A poll conducted by WhatsYourPrice.com confirmed that 3 out of 5 women “test” their significant others to see if the relationship will last. According to results of the survey, 46 percent of men fail the majority of relationship tests.
People test their partners in all sorts of ways. As a couples counselor, I see it a lot in both men and women, whether it’s a wife giving her husband the silent treatment while hoping that he proves his love for her or a husband who purposely withholds information to test his wife’s interest in his life.
It’s common, but is it healthy?
Stop testing, start asking!
Sometimes, being healthy means being uncomfortable—but only temporarily. The effort you expend setting up tests for your partner actually does more damage than if you just did the thing you were afraid to do in the first place! Brené Brown, an expert on vulnerability, describes it like this: “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.” It takes courage to look into why we do what we do.
Read more at YourTango.com