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When a man describes what he wants in a woman, does he really know what he is asking for? When he gives his laundry list of things he desires in his ideal mate does he truly want what he’s asking for? Ladies, when a man says he wants ‘a good Christian’ woman does he really want a Christian woman in theory, or does he want ‘a good Christian’ woman in practice? I ask this question because more often than not when men give a general list of things they desire in a mate, and one trait they say they desire is the trait of a woman being a Christian, or one who attends church, has a relationship with the Lord, a God fearing woman or my personal favorite… a Virtuous Woman. While these are all admirable traits and any man who is a believer in Christ should desire a woman who fears the Lord, I wonder how many of those men really want a woman who does more than profess to be a God fearing woman/Christian, or attend church on Sunday faithfully; and actually lives her life in a manner that honors God. Because believe it or not, there is a difference that many men are aware of but choose not to take heed to. I wonder this because more often than not many men will meet women who live their lives to please and honor God (or at least try their best too) and then they are often questioned about their lifestyle, the men may try to challenge it, it or they are instantly sent into the friend zone.

This leads me to believe that when some men say they desire women who are God fearing/Christian women what they really want are women who simply attend church on Sunday, shout during morning worship, but on Monday they slob them down without a problem! I know this sounds contradicting and even a little harsh, but this is the reality of some Christian and non-Christian men’s thought process when it comes to desiring a Christian woman. They want her attend church on Sunday, but don’t want her to truly live her life according to God’s Holy Word. Why do men do this, or think this way? Simple…men do this and think this way because we as God fearing Christian women allow it. Why do we allow it?  We allow it because our commitment to earthly men is stronger than our commitment to the Man who made us, and we fear being alone. Why do we fear being alone? Because deep down, some of us who profess to be God-fearing, Christian women do not truly live our lives for God as we should, and because we do not live our lives for God as we should, we do not set standards for our relationships and stand by them. If more women would do more than profess Christianity and fear of God and actually lived in that manner, men would have no other choice but to honor a Christian woman’s lifestyle. It may even influence him to do better!

Also, if more women lived in a manner according to God’s Holy Word, we would know that we do not have to fear being alone because the man God has for us is waiting in the wings, but we won’t know who he is or recognize him if we continue to settle for mediocre relationships that don’t honor God, or honor the God-fearing lives that we struggle to live out daily. I know this message is not for everyone, and I know that many of you may be saying or asking, who am I to say this…and the answer to that question is that I am a God-fearing, Christian woman who struggles daily with living my life to honor God, especially within the realms of dating. I know how hard it is. Ladies I extend a challenge to those of you who are God-fearing Christian women who have not established standards in your dating life to do so. Establish standards that uplift the God you serve, and challenge the men you date to really evaluate if they really want a Christian woman in theory or a Christian woman in practice. Not only will this reveal his true intentions with you, but it will save you dating time, honor God in the process and allow you to move forward with your life with or without him.

Ladies, are you a Christian woman in theory, or are you a Christian woman in practice…and not just when it comes to men?

Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.

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