Keri Hilson On Relationships: Bottom Line Is, A Man Will Treat You According To The ‘Messages’ YOU Put Out

May 10, 2013  |  


Miss Keri baby is dropping some knowledge this Friday afternoon when it comes to women and relationships — or not depending on your view of the male/female dynamic.

According to Necole Bitchie, innocently, or so it seemed, Keri Hilson uploaded the image above to Instagram seemingly offering an inspiring word to women and girls about their dealings with men. But it didn’t take long for people to zone in on the fact that Keri appeared to be putting all the onus on women when it comes to men treating them right — and that people did not stand for. Seeing the 200-plus comments she received on the posts (mostly in the negative vain) Keri backed up her message with this advice:

“Interesting comments on my last IG post…quite a stir. But I don’t see the confusion. Ladies don’t get it twisted. It DOES start with YOU!! Unfortunately, every man doesn’t possess some standard high amount of respect for every woman they encounter…just as every woman doesn’t exude the same amount of confidence, class, or self respect. This is not a perfect world, where men treat “hoes” with the same respect they give “ladies” just because their mother taught them well.

Bottom line is, a man will treat you according to the “messages” YOU put out there. That’s the way of the world…reality. If you exude sex, you will attract men who want that from you. If you exude self respect, you will attract the type of men who respect women. In this world, you attract what you exude. Ladies, WE set the tone!! NEVER forget that!! We have the power to change our experiences w/ men.”

Keri’s message certainly isn’t wrong, but I’m sure there are plenty of women out there thinking I treat myself with respect and demand it from others and I still can’t find a good man, so don’t act like this advice is foolproof. Or they feel like this commenter who told Keri her message is nothing but “Patriarchy at its finest & many women can’t even see how they buy into and/or perpetuate the oppression.”

I definitely believe we all show others how to treat us, but I, for one, am tired of the notion that women have to teach men how to be men. Some men will attempt to walk all over you no matter what signs you put in the universe. At that point all you have control over is how long you tolerate the nonsense.

What do you think about Keri’s message?

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