Pump Ya Brakes: The Love Lesson We Can All Learn From Ciara

May 9, 2013  |  

Oh love. There’s nothing else like it, right? It’s magical, beautiful, divine. Love, in any form, is probably one of the best things we can hope for in this life. But if you’ve been around the block a time or two, you know that there’s flip side to this love business. It’s not always a bed of roses. It can enrage you, betray you, deplete you, hurt you. That’s why when you first fall in love it’s important to take your time and guard your heart.

Today, this lesson will be illustrated by singer/dancer Ciara.

It was a couple of weeks ago when we posted the video of Ciara’s awkward interview on 106 & Park. It was mostly awkward because we watched her sit and chat with ex boyfriend Bow Wow, right in front of her current boyfriend, rapper Future. Bow Wow did the best he could, though there were times where he was clearly overcompensating. During the interview, Bow Wow went through pictures from Ciara’s Instagram asking her to describe what was going on in each shot. By the time he got to the second pic, the audience and even Bow Wow started doing that obnoxious “Wooooo” noise folks do when there’s a romantic moment being shared on television. The picture was of Ciara and Future sitting next to each other on what she called a “PJ.” (That’s a private jet for you poor folks.) After the audience settled down, Ciara started describing the picture saying “That’s me and my King.”


When you refer to a man, a mere mortal, as your king you automatically lower yourself. Even if Future is walking around referring to Ciara as his Queen, it’s just not quite the same. Everybody knows traditionally the two roles aren’t equivalent. We were discussing the notion of calling a man your king in the office and we unanimously agreed that she took things a little too far. (It would seem that the two have been dating each other for a year max.) The more I thought about this “king” thing, the more I wondered if I could or would use it in the context of a more stable, more committed relationship like a marriage.

I’m not married so I called my mom and asked her if she’d ever call my father, her husband her king. She thought about it for a second before saying no. She said there’s something about the word “king” that is so vivid that you immediately start imagining the man wearing a crown, or a halo and she just didn’t feel comfortable giving that title to a man, not even one she’s been married to for nearly 30 years. She said that when you call someone your king it’s almost sacrilegious, like you’re relying on this man to be your everything. And no man can be everything to anyone. I told my mom about Ciara and she agreed it was too much and homegirl is just young.

I neglected to tell my mom about Ciara’s tattoo featuring Future’s initial.

When Ciara appeared on The Wendy Williams show, Wendy spotted the tattoo and asked Ciara straight out about her tattoo and whether it was the smartest decision. Ciara said she got the tattoo as a way to speak things into fruition.

And I feel so good about where I am. I’m very confident and comfortable with the way he loves me. I say that to say I’m only going to put in the universe positive things. I’m going to put in the universe that it’s only going to get better and better and better.

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