All Good Things Must Come To An End: How To Get Over A Fling

May 14, 2013  |  
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Flings don’t come in one specific shape or size, nor do they fit a certain mold. Some flings have a bit more substance to them while others merely exist for sexual reasons. Whatever the case may be, more times than not, flings eventually come to an end, once they have run their course. Depending on your expectations from the beginning, it’s quite possible you could end up crushed when this happens. If you find yourself in that position, here are a few ways to get over the heartache.

Accept it

Before you can move on, you will need to physically, mentally, and emotionally accept that the fling has come to an end. When the day comes that you accept what has happened, you’ll feel a huge weight lifted from your shoulders as well as from your mind. There’s a reason acceptance is always the first step.

Remove your ex-fling from your life

It’s over, so it only makes sense that contact with him should be cut ASAP. Remove his number from your phone’s contact list. Remove him and block him on Facebook. Once a fling ends, it’s best to cut ties completely. There’s no need to try to stay friends or to try to fix the relationship. Instead, delete him out of your life and allow yourself to move on as time permits.

Get back in the game

Once a fling is done and over with, your position in the dating world doesn’t have to be done with. An ended fling is just another lesson learned and hopefully you were able to take something away from the relationship. Take it in stride and get yourself back into the dating scene. Don’t waste time thinking about the past. Go on dates. Hit up the bar. And soon enough you’ll have found someone new.

Don’t pull the “why?” card

When any type of relationship with someone ends, the first thing you’ll want to ask is “why?” But, when a fling is over, one of the worst things you can do is ask why, simply because there really isn’t a clear answer or reason, at least not one that will be satisfactory for you. Even if you did get an answer, the response is likely to be one that you don’t want to hear, nor is it one that will make you feel any better.

Realize the face value

Remember, this was a fling. It’s likely that neither one of you went into things with hopes or thoughts of turning it into a long-term relationship. Even if you really liked the guy and you meshed well, the fact is that from the beginning, the relationship had no foundation. Instead, you two built a temporary structure that eventually fell down.

Talk about it

It may feel a bit odd at first, but nothing helps better than being able to speak your mind about what is going on. Find a friend that you can really confide in and explain everything. While you may not want to admit that you had a fling, it is what it is, and talking about the hurt and other emotions you are feeling will allow you to take a huge weight off of your shoulders. If you don’t want to talk about it, write it down.

Don’t become the ex-stalker

In the early days, you’re likely to feel hurt and angry, but as time goes on, those emotions will subside, and you may find that you’re once again interested in what your ex-fling is up to. When the temptation hits to check up on him on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, stop yourself. Falling into this trap will put you back into the same circle of hurt and anger.

Put the memories behind you

There’s no need to sit around dwelling or reminiscing about the fling that just ended. No matter how good things were, now is not the time to waste your time and energy thinking about him. In any way you can, keep your emotions out of it. Don’t wallow in sadness or the past experiences that you had. You’ll experience them again, but this time around it’ll be with someone better.

Give yourself time

Even if the fling didn’t last for months and months, there was still time, energy, emotions, and effort put into it, so the sting of the ended relationship is bound to last, at least a little while. You can’t expect to feel better the day after you two end it. Instead, allow yourself time to feel sad, mad, and any other emotions. Time heals all wounds, so don’t short-change yourself when it comes to healing and moving on completely.

Don’t shut yourself off

After having your emotions shut down and completely thrown out by your ex-fling, one of the last things you’ll probably want to do is to feel like that again. However, it’s best to allow yourself to have emotions for others. Being able to be compassionate and caring about a man are good emotions to feel. And when you find the right guy, they’ll be reciprocated.

Don’t immediately get into a new fling

Sometimes a little therapy between the sheets can help solve a lot of problems, but it is only a temporary fix. One of the worst things you can do to yourself in order to get over an ex-fling is to get into another. You will more than likely find yourself hurting even more after the fact, especially since this fling is unlikely to go very far either.

Cry it out

Even after talking about it, writing about it, and blocking him, sometimes there is nothing that helps more than a good cry. Crying allows you to release every single emotion that has been building up inside of you. You’re able to release all of those bad emotions and put yourself in a better position to move on from this.

Avoid any more flings

At the end of the day, you got your feelings hurt because you expected more out of a fling. Clearly, you’re looking for something more than a temporary relationship that doesn’t have much purpose to it. From this day on, it’s probably best that you steer clear of any other flings. Otherwise you may find yourself re-living this experience. Instead, focus on connecting

Determine if a future is possible

In the short-term, you’ll want to avoid as much contact with your ex-fling as possible. However, as time goes on, you two may find that you’re able to be friends and send each other a text or email here and there. Of course, this can go both ways. Maybe he wants to be friends but you don’t, or vice versa, or maybe the both of you have decided that it’s best to not talk at all. Before jumping into being friends, make sure that you both agree and whatever decision is made.

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