She Really Doesn’t Wipe Her Butt Like Everybody Else: Beyonce Demands Red Toilet Paper And Other Crazy Things On Tour

May 2, 2013  |  

We’ve exposed a few of Beyonce’s divalicious demands in the past, but none come close to the things Mrs. Carter is reportedly requiring on her latest world tour. Someone who obviously doesn’t value their life or their job, released an alleged list of Queen Bey’s demands to the UK’s Daily Star and it would be fair to say she’s doing the absolute most — well sorta. Let’s start from the top:

1. Titanium straws: The straws, which cost about $935 each, are used to drink a special alkaline water that’s served at exactly 21 degrees.

2. Freshly painted white walls and a new toilet seat: This goes for her dressing room. We’re actually not mad at that toilet seat request. Gotta keep it sanitary.

3. Red toilet paper: Huh?

4. Absolutely no junk food is allowed: The only prohibited foods are green vegetables, almonds, and oatcakes, and they must be provided on glass platters.

5. Only 100 Percent Pure Cotton Clothing for Staff: Presumably, this is a preventive measure to prevent your highness from having any allergic reactions. Anyone else see a new endorsement in her future?

6. Hand-Carved Ice Balls: These are for Beyonce to suck on after performances to protect her vocal chords. If y’all don’t want another Star Spangled Banner snafu, somebody better get to carving!

According to Yahoo News, this is pretty much nothing compared to what Mr. and Mrs. Carter required backstage at the superbowl. The couple reportedly had their baby’s $22,000 crib shipped from their home in New York City to New Orleans and Beyonce’s dressing room was said to be stocked with $6,000 worth of alcohol and cigars for Jay’s leisure time.

Must be nice…

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