The Time My Mother Publicly Clowned Me For Bashing “Scandal”

May 3, 2013  |  

Across the country at 10 pm EST, millions of people tune into ABC’s Scandal to watch Kerry Washington march around in a tizzy behind a president that doesn’t have eyebrows. On the internet there are enough “Scandal” memes, Tumblrs, and discussion boards to keep the show’s fans entertained into perpetuity. I can’t lie, I enjoy the show, but there are some folks that go so hard that it seems a little cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. How do I know this? Because I’m related to one.

Something about the show resonates with its fan base, and that’s evident by how they start to froth at the mouth when the show goes on a two week hiatus. If you’ve ever been on Twitter or Facebook during the show, it’s a good chance that your timeline is moving fast – people are quick about posting their scandalized reactions to “Scandal.”
In fact, “Scandal” fans are so ride or die that they are starting to show the symptoms of another crazy fan base: The Beyhive. For those that don’t know, the Beyhive is Beyoncé’s group of  devoted stans who go in on any and everyone who even *thinks* of shading their beloved lord and savior, Beysus. Many a person has had their wig snatched clean off on Twitter for uttering vileness about Queen B, and it’s starting to get that way for “Scandal” too. Even if the story lines are ridiculous and people talk entirely too fast, a “Scandal” fan might shank you for talking dirty about Shonda Rhimes’ television masterpiece.

Case in point: two weeks ago on MadameNoire I wrote a mostly humorous open letter to a fictional character on “Scandal,” Harrison Wright, who is played by the oh-so-fine Columbus Short. This piece mildly criticized Olivia Pope’s weave, her relationship with President Fitzgerald Grant, and her motives for keeping Harrison tied up like some sort of pet dog. Pretty innocuous stuff.  The post got the normal “yeah girl, Harrison needs be with ME” kind of co-signs, but little else. Except for one nagging comment that just irked me:

“Let me guess the person writing this has natural hair. Hmm … Stop hating on sew in and lace fronts its just a hairstyle…” the commenter started, alluding to the fact that I had indeed shaded Olivia Pope’s wig. How did this person know I had natural hair? Was it something in my writing style that gave it away? The commenter continued on by saying that she enjoys watching a ‘multi-layered’ show like Scandal rather than ratchet reality TV. She then proceeds to sign off with, ‘Keep Calm & Kerry ON!!,’ playing off of the popular “Keep Calm” memes and Kerry Washington’s first name. The most intriguing thing about this sharp-tongued commenter: My adorable baby picture was her avatar.

My mother, bless her heart, loves the “Scandal” with an unexplainable strength and vigor. The screen saver on her home computer is a picture of Kerry Washington (or KW, as she calls her) gazing melodramatically into Tony Goldwyn’s eyes. She regularly keeps up with all the “Scandal” gossip in the blogosphere. She even joined Twitter (and had a Twitter beef with Josh Malina – David Rosen on the show – on her first day). I later found out that she came across my MadameNoire essay on a “Scandal” Tumblr, and just *had* to give her two cents to the writer that knocking her favorite fixer. She didn’t know it was me until after she posted her comment and then glanced at the byline. The next time I decide to come out of my mouth (or pen) sideways about “Scandal,” I’ll have to remember that my mother really does have eyes in the back of her head!

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