14 Things Men Learn About Women Eventually (Thank God!)

April 3, 2013  |  
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There are some things women don’t even totally understand about themselves, and that men can only learn through trial and error (sorry!) But after being dumped a few times, or at least slapped on the wrist, all men eventually learn these things about women.

If you won’t be present, don’t be there

Showing up isn’t good enough. If you take us to dinner, comment on the restaurant, make us laugh, discuss the menu with us, smile, and don’t have that glazed look over your eyes. We’ll be more upset if you show up but are emotionally and mentally present, than if you simply tell us, “I’m absolutely exhausted tonight. Can we reschedule for a night I will be better company?”

 

She wants prime real estate

Sorry, but you don’t just get to rage it with your buddies Friday and Saturday night and only meet up with us on Sunday night, expecting us to nurse your hangover and watch the shows you want with takeout food. You need to give us some Friday nights, too.

It’s good to get in with her friends

Besides the fact that she feels disrespected if you don’t make an effort to impress her friends and get to know them, it benefits you to get on their good side. If you don’t get close to her friends, then when she’s having doubts about the relationship, they won’t say a word to dispel those doubts. But if they like you, they may speak in your best interest when your girlfriend starts that, “I’m not sure about my boyfriend…” speech.

Nod, say yes, and repeat

You need to let us know you’re listening. And remaining silent doesn’t cut it. You need to look us in the eyes, nod, make acknowledging “Ahhh”, and “Mmm” noises, and regurgitate the Cliffnotes version of what we’ve just said.

We absorb your energy

Before you go off swearing about your day at work, or being grumpy or pessimistic, stop and remember: we absorb your energy. Your depression depresses us. Your anger puts us on edge. Control your moods if you love us.

You can’t go 24 hours without texting

It doesn’t matter if the reason you’re not texting is because you’re trying to get all your work done so that you can finally call us for a quality phone call. When it comes to making contact via the phone, we prefer quantity over quality just so we know you haven’t totally forgotten us.

If you don’t dress for the occasion, we don’t think you care

When we invite you for a weekend getaway and you show up in sweat pants and Tims for the drive to the resort, we feel like you’re not really into it. If we invite you to brunch and you wear your old college sweatshirt, we think you’d rather be elsewhere.

At least try to be healthy

Women are immensely forgiving about your pant size, so long as it seems you care. If you have a little bulge, but are sticking to fish and salads and working out every day, we adore that little bulge. But if you’re scarfing down burgers every day and seem irresponsible and oblivious about your physical state, that little bulge drives us crazy.

We don’t like to be blatantly hit on

Always, always withhold the compliment, the hard hit, the come-on. If you tell us we’re beautiful within the first ten minutes of talking to us, you can almost guarantee you’ve lost your chance with us. Women like to earn your affection and attention, through being interesting and charming.

Date nights are forever

You don’t get to stop doing those just because you’ve been together for a certain amount of time. One, three, five…years in, if you don’t plan at least one thought-out date night per month, she’ll feel you take her for granted.

 

You need to seduce her

Grabbing her hand and placing it on your member is not seduction. Nor is asking, “Wanna have sex?” Every single time you make love, you need to make her feel that in some way she charmed you and turned you on at that exact moment—not that you just got horny out of thin air.

You can be too compromising

Yes, we can be scary when you don’t give us what we want. But we can be even scarier when we can tell you’re only saying yes for fear of bringing out the in us. That only feels patronizing. When it really matters, speak up, ask for what you want, argue with her if you have to. She may not love it at first but she’ll respect you in the long run, and feel respected herself.

Give her freedom and she’ll run to you

Encourage her to attend seminars she’s interested in, to go out with friends, to go on girls weekends away. At least seem happy for her when she does things alone, and that enrich her and entertain her. Giving her complete freedom will give you…well, some really great sex when she gets back.

You have to be her biggest cheerleader

You can’t be a passive observer of her career, aspirations, goals and passions. You need to be thinking, regularly, of ways to help her and motivate her. You need to show up to as many events related to her passion as possible. You need to bounce ideas back and forth with her. You need to buy her books that might help her, or buy her a massage when she’s been working hard.

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