Ask A Very Smart Brotha: Can A Person Ever Get Over A Former Fiancee?

March 27, 2013  |  

Juanita: I have a question for him….do men ever think of their ex-fiancee even though they say they have moved on?

DY: As a person who has an ex-fiancee, I do think about her from time to time. I don’t want to rekindle or anything like that, but since she was a big part of my life for a couple years, I do wonder how she’s doing. I think that’s a normal thing. Again though, a person popping up in your mind from time to time doesn’t mean there are any type of regrets or thoughts of getting back together.


Essence: If you have been dating someone for 7 months, is that too soon to tell them “I love you”?!

DY: No. It’s only too soon if you don’t actually mean it


Faren: Is two weeks and two dates later too soon to like someone?

DY: Nope.


Lori: Damon, what do I do about a guy that has been pursuing me for 13 years and when I finally give him a chance he’s afraid of making a commitment?

DY: What changed after 13 years to make you finally agree?

Lori: I want to add that we dated in 1996. I broke up with him because he cheated. He has been pursing me ever since that relationship broke up.

DY: Yeah, I think his indecisiveness now should tell you everything you need to know about him


Post: Why do males tell females they love them but yet cheat and hurt them? That’s not love.

DY: For some people, it is actually. As hard as this is to believe, you can still love someone and cheat on them. Thing is, just because someone loves you doesn’t mean that you need to be in a relationship with them. And, if they’re cheating on you and hurting you, need to bounce


Kiara: What does it mean if a guy meets you and want to be serious really soon? I mean do I take it as him just knowing what he wants/looking for or is he running game?

DY: If we (men) know, we usually know immediately. So, while it is possible that he’s “running game,” a man wanting to commit quickly really isn’t all that rare.

I mean, if you’re not comfortable going full speed ahead, then you shouldn’t do that. But, like I said upthread, just because he expressed his feelings quickly doesn’t mean that they’re not real


Shaleith: Is it such a horrible thing that I decided to be celibate 2 1/2 years ago?

DY: Only if you think it is

Shaleith: I’m perfectly fine with my celibacy but the media isn’t

DY: Well, unless the media pops up in your bedroom or asks you out to dinner, I don’t see why you should pay it any attention.


Carmen: Can you love someone and still get irritated by them at the same time or is it just affection?

DY: Loving someone and being irritated at the same time is called “being in an adult relationship.”


Natasha: How often should married folks have sex?

DY: Depends on the people in the marriage. Some people are fine with once a week. Some even once or twice a month. Others need to have sex more frequently. Either way, there’s no set number that works for everyone


Danesha: I’m so use to be celibate, that i feel like i dont need a man anymore. What to do?

DY: Well, if you feel like you don’t need a man, you might not need a man. Some people are happier single.


Simplysenekea: Why are men so obsessed with the 3somes now more than ever?

DY: List of things men have always been obsessed with: Food, women, sex, grilling, multiple women, sex with multiple women, getting lost, spending a day grilling, and then going to have sex with multiple women, but getting lost on the way there, etc

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