Don’t Fastforward Just Yet: What Adult Films Teach Us About Male Desire

February 15, 2013  |  
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We know men aren’t the best communicators. That’s often because they don’t want to upset women by saying what they’re really thinking, feeling or desiring. And when it comes to sex, it’s no exception. So we have to turn to other places to get our cues about what men really want. What better place than a medium made for men, by men? That’s right, the world of adult film.

Dominance is key

Someone is always in control in adult films. One person is absurdly rich, the other poor, one person has hulk-like strength, the other is built like a nymph, one person is older, one young and naïve. No matter who is in charge, men do not like sex to be a game of equals: they want there to be a leader.

Age is a fascination

Isn’t the age of the female almost always within the title of an adult film? “20-year old college COED hooks up with 60-year-old professor”, “Newly legal teens get it on” and so on. Age is a fascination for men. It’s safe to assume men mentally group certain character traits with each age, and expect to find those traits, because most Internet searches for adult films involve an age in there somewhere.

There are two types of women: the type you sleep with and the type you date

Most adult films feature women who look, well, haggard. They don’t have particularly symmetrical or “pretty” faces. They’re not well put together. They look tired, perhaps like they have a menial job for someone without an education—like waitressing or housekeeping. Men have an image in their head of what a wife or girlfriend should be, and they don’t want to see that image in adult films. They are comfortable with a certain “class” of female when it comes to seeing a woman objectified.

Big is beautiful

Sure, magazines feature women so thin they probably don’t menstruate anymore, but when no one is looking, big is what men really want. You want proof? There are over 500 adult film sites dedicated to curvaceous women, and barely 200 dedicated to thin women.

And the favorite body part is…

Breasts! Breasts are the most popular body part in sexual Internet searches in every country. Just a fun fact.


 Men like competition

“Cuckhold” films are the second most popular heterosexual adult films on the Internet. In this type of film, a woman has sex with a man other than her husband, while her husband watches. This arousal from competition could have evolved from a phenomenon called “sp*erm competition,” which is essentially the notion that the sp*erm of two different men could (if they’re in there right around the same time) compete, head to head, to impregnate a woman. Men evolved so that, if they believed their partner has had relations with another man, they have the urge to have sex with her as soon as possible so that perhaps their sp*erm will dislodge the other man’s. Hence the allure of a cuckhold film.

Men like visuals

Adult film sites targeted to women often feature films with elaborate story lines leading up to the actual sexual acts. Sites for men, however, often begin right in the middle of the action. Research has proven that the male brain reacts significantly more to sexual imagery than the female brain does. Women require more words and sounds to be turned on.

Men do not worry about the repercussions of sex

One of the main reasons female-targeted adult films feature a story line is because women need to be persuaded to have sex. We evolved to contemplate every sexual encounter before delving into it because having sex could have life altering repercussions, like pregnancy. Men, however, evolved to not think, but just act on their urges. It’s how they upped their chances of passing on their genes. This could be why in most male-targeted films, the woman decides almost instantaneously—simply because she is asked—to engage in sexual acts. (This could also shed some light on why men often forget to grab a condom until you bring it up).

Men like to leave their mark

As vulgar as it is, films in which a man—often a very well endowed man—takes a woman’s virginity are highly popular. Why? Because men like to leave their mark. They like to, in some way, show the next guy they were there. In normal life this often translates to men hoping their ex-girlfriend never finds anyone as good as them in bed—they’ve left their mark.

Most of a man’s desires will never be fulfilled

If you consider popular adult films—threesomes, a woman having sex with another man in front of her partner, bizarre and dangerous toys being involved—you realize that what happens in adult films is rarely what happens in real bedrooms between real couples. But, clearly men have some desire for those activities because they regularly seek out videos depicting them. And so, the sad (or maybe fortunate) fact is, most of a man’s sexual desires and fantasies are left unfulfilled.

Diversity is sensual

This is no new information: hundreds of studies have proven that the more ethnically diverse the two parents are of a child, the healthier and stronger that child will be. Why? Because it’s collecting immunities and biological strengths from two vast pools of genes. This idea is reinforced in adult films, since they often have titles like “Black man with young Asian girl” or “White blonde with Hispanic pool boy.” Diversity is a turn on.

Men do not like to think about reality while having sex

You know that women can multitask during sex, often thinking about what they’ll make for dinner that night and how they’ll compose an email to their boss, all while making love. Men, however, want reality completely out of the equation during sex and that’s evident from the countless, highly watched adult films featuring fictional beings like monsters, aliens and mermaids. Sex is a mental escape for men.

Men are unrealistic about who they can seduce

In real life, 4’s don’t get 10’s. They just don’t. Yet in adult films, you’ll often see young, tight-bodied, gorgeous girls uncontrollably turned on by short, hairy, overweight, older men. You know men are unrealistic about the women they can get because in real life, plenty of short, hairy, overweight, old men have cat called some pretty provocative things at you. Now you know where they got the idea they’d be successful: adult films.

Men are hardwired to objectify woman

What’s more objectifying than multiple men taking turns with the same woman, in the same room, making her emotional or mental connection to any of those men zero?  Not much, yet, these types of group sex films, featuring multiple men and one woman, abound on the adult film scene. This plays into the psychological analysis that men are hardwired to objectify women. Even in the days of cavemen, cave drawings were found of women with enormous breasts, butts of unreal proportions, and no face.

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