Comfy Or Crass? Where Does Your Behavior Towards Your Man Fall

February 7, 2013  |  
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It’s great when you pass that phase of trying to be perfect for your partner—when you can stop pretending you look beautiful 24 hours a day, and that all your thoughts are nice and politically correct. But getting comfortable around your partner can be like opening Pandora’s box: you can’t (or don’t know how to) shut it. Where do your behaviors fall? Comfy? Or crass?

Comfy: Being able to laugh at things

At the most awkward, inappropriate times, our minds wander to humor. It’s just the way humans cope with times of stress or trauma. You and your partner should be able to make each other giggle through difficult times. It’s a way of being there for each other.

Crass: Being sarcastic at the wrong time

There’s a difference between laughing at the world together, and laughing at what the world is doing to your man. Men don’t appreciate it when you crack jokes while they’re seriously upset and trying to vent. This says to them you just don’t want to or are unable to take on their problems.

Comfy: Hanging out with no makeup in PJ’s

Men find it adorable when you start letting them see your clean, makeup-less face and your cozy PJ’s. Most men find you most attractive at your lowest maintenance hours.

Crass: Telling him your hygiene failures

We all forget to brush our teeth sometimes, or take a shower, or dig dirt out from under our fingernails, or scrub off our callouses…but your man does not need to hear about the gory details that go into creating the beautiful creature he sees.

Comfy: Calling him on his sh—

If your guy is in the wrong or being too cocky or rude, he likes when you call him on it and bring him back down to earth. He likes to see you respect yourself enough not to put up with that behavior from him. Deep down, we all want the person we are with to challenge us to be a better person.

Crass: Calling him on everything

Facilitating an environment of open communication can sometimes make you lose your filter. It’s how some women become the “nagging girlfriend.” It’s cool to call your guy out at times when he is being truly rude or wrong, but constantly calling him out for every quirk and tiny character flaw makes you just cruel and annoying.

Comfy: Being real about what happens in the bathroom

What a relief it is when you can finally just tell your man, “I’m going to the bathroom. I’ll be a while. Got any magazines?” All that sneaking around becomes exhausting, and is just bad for your digestive system. Most men say they find it cute when women are comfortable being (somewhat) open about what goes on in the bathroom.

Crass: Being too real about what happens in the bathroom

Do you like it when your guy over-shares gross details about what happens in the bathroom? Probably not. And he’s a boy. He’s supposed to be gross. So, unfortunately, the threshold for what you can share is even lower. Don’t try to be funny like the men you see in Judd Apatow movies: men do not need to know bathroom details.

Comfy: Dressing casual

When a guy has fallen for you, he can see your beauty in whatever you’re wearing. And he is flattered when you stop feeling the need to put together an intricate outfit with heels every time you hang out.

Crass: Dressing like a slob

Don’t push it! Or else your guy will be thinking, “Really? You couldn’t at least put on the sweatpants that don’t have holes and ice cream stains on them?” You know that you feel romance has completely gone out the window when your guy wears his raggedy clothes around you. He feels the same.

Comfy: Valuing yourself

Men know that sometimes they can be lazy, less-than-great boyfriends. But the good ones appreciate it when you point it out if they’re falling below standards, and you challenge them. There’s nothing more attractive than a woman who values herself and stands by her own needs and demands.

Crass: Putting him down

Value yourself, but don’t do it by putting down your man. Saying, “Do you really think you’ll find another woman like me?” is not the way to whip your guy into shape. That isn’t valuing yourself; that’s telling your man that he is not of value. And no man likes that.

Comfy: Getting tipsy

Let yourself get loose around your man a little. He thinks it’s cute! He likes that you’re comfortable enough around him to put yourself in a position where you don’t have 100% control over what you might say or do. That means you feel safe with him.

Crass: Getting mean, out of control drunk

Don’t use alcohol as a license to do mean, inappropriate things. Yes, men get rowdy when they’re drunk. They don’t really want that from their women. Your boyfriend does not want to bail you out of jail, or escort you out of the bar you’ve been kicked out of OR take a verbal beating from you.

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