‘Make An A** Out Of A Donkey’: RHOA Episode 13 Recap

January 28, 2013  |  
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In last night’s episode of “Real Housewives of Atlanta”, the drama between Kenya and Phaedra continued to spiral out of control and the other housewives appeared to be thoroughly amused by it. However, with Kenya Moore on the scene, I don’t know too many people who wouldn’t be entertained. When the former Miss America  USA caught wind that Phaedra had been saying some not so nice things about her, she took her psychopathic antics to a whole new level and let’s just say she showed her tail, literally. Click to see all of the craziness that went down.

Phaedra’s “fantastic image” and donkey booty can sell anything… 

Or so she says. But, just to be sure, Phaedra called in celebrity photographer Robert Ector and top-knotch make-up artists for the official “Donkey Booty” DVD cover shoot. According to Phaedra, it was necessary for her video to stand out among the plethora of workout videos on the market, including the copycats (Read: Kenya). Something tells me she’ll be difficult to miss with that lime green bodysuit on though.

Kenya’s feet need lotion

So, remember that time you met up with your arched nemesis for mimosas and girl talk? Yeah, me either. But, it seems as if this is something fairly normal around the set of “Real Housewives of Atlanta”. Kenya, in some weird attempt to get Porsha’s opinion on the “donkey-stallion booty” drama, for reasons unbeknownst to anyone but herself, invited her younger rival to lunch. Any lunch date that begins with Kenya asking the waiter to remove the knives from the table as a safety precaution is a clear sign that this is probably an outing that should not have occurred. Kenya attempted to “warn” Porsha about Phaedra. She even expressed that the only reason Phaedra befriended Porsha was to have a “Kenya hating” party and say unflattering things about her. Needless to say, the lunch ended on a bitter note with Porsha calling Kenya out for having ashy feet.

Nene has no qualms about divorcing Greg again 

Nene and Greg shopped for furniture for their new California home and during her confessional, she expressed that she never would have guessed one year ago that they would be back together. She went on to say that although she will probably be re-tying the knot with her ex-hubby, she has no problem with signing those divorce papers again if he gets froggy enough to step out of line.

Phaedra knows the Vice President. Yeah, like the Vice President of the United States

All of the ladies, with the exception of Kenya, went out to dinner. And of course, the number one topic of conversation was the Kenya and Phaedra drama. In an effort to prove just how much she didn’t need Kenya, Phaedra proceeded to run off the titles of a few notables that she has in her rolodex. Notice that I said “titles”, because she never actually mentioned any names. However, among those titles included the Vice President, like Vice President Joe Biden, the president of some unnamed country and Tyler Perry (a little bit). While it’s not totally impossible for Ms. Parks to know these people, she’s known for stretching the truth (and sometimes re-writing it). Remember when she claimed that her and Nene grew up together, during her first season of the show?

Porsha’s singing voice is a “congloberation” Mary J. Blige, Beyonce and Rihanna

While assisting Cynthia in the planning of her Miss Renaissance 2012 pageant, Porsha, who claims that her singing voice sounds like a mixture of three of the most popular voices in R&B, volunteered her vocal abilities to entertain the pageant guests. Although Cynthia seemed to hint that she didn’t plan on giving Porsha the mic during the event, it didn’t stop her from being messy and telling the ladies that Porsha wanted to sing at her pageant. Of course, they put her on the spot and asked her to sing right then and there. Unfortunately, just as she began to sing, the restaurants entertainment came out. We never did get to hear that Ma-Rih-Oncé  combo. And yes, for the record, she said “congloberation”. Go figure.

Cynthia is Kenya’s carrier pigeon

The award for most shady housewife would have to go to Ms. Cynthia Bailey for her carrier pigeon-like behavior last night. While out to dinner, the ladies asked Phaedra about the latest happenings between her and Kenya. Although Kenya did not attend  the dinner, Cynthia made sure to run back to her and fill her in on everything that Phaedra had said about her and the situation. You would’ve thought Cynthia was still in high school by the number of times “she said” left her mouth during that golf outing. Although Cynthia is claiming she’s neutral in the donkey vs. stallion drama, her actions say otherwise.

Kandi and Todd plan to go half on a baby

It looks like Kandi and Todd had plans to build a life together well before New Year’s when he slipped that ring on her finger. In last night’s episode, the two were seen in an empty room in Kandi’s new house, which she refers to as “Cash’s room” because that’s what she plans on naming the son that she’s going to have with Todd, Cash Tucker. And according to Kandi, he’s going to be a star… or the president!

“Team Tall” & “Team Small” unite

I must admit that it’s kind of refreshing to see that the more seasoned cast members have put their silly differences aside (for the most part). If we were to rewind to a couple of seasons ago, Nene and Kandi happily smiling in an organic photo is probably something we would’ve never expected to see. It’s great to see these ladies getting along. Did anyone notice that with Sheree and Kim gone, the “Team Tall” vs. “Team Small” drama died almost immediately?

Kenya suffers from bi-polar disorder and alcoholism …

As diagnosed by Dr. Phaedra Parks. I can’t say for sure that Kenya’s instability and outlandish ways are exclusive to bipolar disorder, but judging by the above photograph, something is horribly wrong. In an effort to somehow embarrass Phaedra for calling her out as a mentally ill substance abuser, Kenya showed up to Nene’s shoe launch and charity event in a swimsuit under a fishnet coverup, resembling the one Phaedra wore during the Anguilla trip and a white church lady hat. I can’t say exactly what she was trying to prove since she showed up dressed like Phaedra, but acting like a combination Phaedra and herself. Her behavior certainly did not prove her sanity, if anything, it did the exact opposite. The only proper way to describe the spectacle that she made of herself at the event would be in the words of Phaedra:

“Kenya is not normal. Something in the buttermilk ain’t clean.”

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