How Do I Begin To Trust The Man Who Cheated On Me Again?

January 4, 2013  |  

From Essence

Q: For about a year now, I’ve been in a long distance relationship with a guy I met through friends. We lived in different states and were fully aware of each other’s intentions early on. We hit it off pretty fast, and before we knew it, we were in a full-blown relationship. We discussed the dynamics of our relationship, because I had never been in a long distance relationship before. We fell in love and wanted to see where love would takes us, so we agreed to be mutually exclusive.

A short while ago, I learned that my guy had relations with a woman who lives closer to him. I was very hurt because I am completely committed to him and our relationship. He tells me he cut it off with her because he never intended for things to end up that way and he couldn’t fathom being without me.  He explained that he made a selfish choice and got caught up in it and that he never intended for it to get this far. I have been in a similar situation in the past, so I understood where he was coming from and I’ve decided to forgive him. I know he loves me. I believe people make bad choices and learn from them. I’m not one to believe that once someone is a cheater, they’re always a cheater.

Now, we want to put things back together and rebuild what we once had. I just can’t figure where to start. I love this man and I want to trust him they way I once did before. Where do I start, Dr. Sherry?

See what celebrity psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake has to say about this situation on

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