Do You Have Enough Ratch In Your Life? 10 Reasons We All Need Ratchet Friends

December 5, 2012  |  
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I have a theory about why the word “ratchet” took off the way it did. It blew up because everybody, regardless of race, creed or color, knows at least one somebody who leads a ratchet lifestyle. Though you might not identify as a ratchet individual, there are several reasons why you might need some ratchet in your life.

Cautionary Tales

The one thing you’ll learn from having ratchet friends is what not to do in life.  Your ratchet friends will always have some sorted tale about how they fought some chick at the club, how she smashed a dude she had no business messing with or how she cussed out that rude heffa at the DMV. Either way, your friend’s escapades will paint a very clear picture about the types of situations you need to avoid by any means necessary. The good thing about it is, aside from listening to the juicy details, you’ll have learned a lesson without having had to go through anything.

They’ll have your back

Fighting might not be a ratchet’s first plan of action; but please believe, she’s certainly not opposed to throwing a few ‘bows when it comes down to protecting her own. And if you’re a true friend, that includes you. With a ratchet friend, you never have to worry about getting completely jumped. Whatever pops off, your friend will be right there with her brass knuckles, throwing punches.

Constant Laughs

Just this morning, by best friend, my ratchet friend, sent me a good morning gif of Steve Carrell opening his coat to reveal his finger in the zipper of his pants, so it looked like his wang. This is the same chick who sends me videos of black folk harmonizing about food and videos of gay men voguing successfully until a hairy ball pops out. Hilarious. The thing about the ratchet friend, is that she never tires of being ratchet and she’ll be sure to share the ratch for the betterment of the world around her. Be glad you’re the beneficiary of such good fortune.

She Goes Through It, So You Don’t Have To

Whether you know it or not, the ratchet lifestyle has the potential to be a reckless one. And as such, there will be plenty stories about mistakes and lessons learned…albeit a little too late. As you’re listening to these stories, you might start feeling yourself a little bit. You learned these little tidbits in high school. But your ratchet road dog didn’t get the memo. You may be inclined to pat yourself on the back for knowing better at this point.


How does that saying go, woman cannot live on refinement alone? Not really but you get my gist, every life needs some balance. If you’re grinding your way through law school, every once in a while, you need to be able to take off those glasses and put your books away. Your ratchet friend will be the one to make sure you don’t become a boring old fuddy duddy. She’ll be the one to dig through your closet for the freak’em dress tucked in the corner and she’ll be right on the dance floor with you twerking something.

They’ll Keep It Real

Just because your friend is the ratchet one, doesn’t mean she’ll be the only person who needs to be checked occasionally in your friendship. When you are acting brand new, or bougie, bordering on stuck up, your ratchet friend will be there to remind you, in very blunt terms, that it’s time for you to bring it back.

Up to date on the lingo

If you work in a corporate environment, there are times when you’re a little disconnected from the streets. But never fear, your ratchet friend makes sure to spend time there. And when she returns to the world you both share, she’ll be sure to report back about what she she saw and most importantly heard. She’ll share all the words the hipsters are using these days so your younger cousins won’t think you’re too old to hang.

Gives You an opportunity to play therapist

With a ratchet friend, that psychology degree won’t be a complete waste. When your friend comes to you for advice, you’ll have the opportunity to analyze her mindset and her situation to figure out exactly why she keeps finding herself in some slippery situations.

She reminds you life is not always that deep

If you’re the type of person who finds that you’re a bit more anxious than you should be, that you’re sweating the small stuff and stressing all the time, your ratchet friend is there to balance all of that tension out with her penchant for fun and foolishness. She won’t let the weight of the world hold you down.

Variety is the spice of life

If we only hung around people who were exactly like us, had the same taste in entertainment, came from the same socioeconomic backgrounds we’d be completely out of touch with the progression of the world, in a word: Republicans. Ha! I jest…kind of. Thing is, we need folks who are different from ourselves to challenge and teach us. The ratchets can do that for you!

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