Two Sisters Discuss Sex & Numbers

October 14, 2010  |  

SISTER TOLDA SAYS:

The number of partners you’ve had prior to your current partner. To tell or not to tell? That is the question and I personally think there is a right and wrong answer. KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.

When it comes to your magic number, I think this is where that phrase “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” should go to retire when it’s finally banned from the military. There is no reason for your partner to know how many people you’ve slept with. Introducing this information can create self-doubt (“Wow, I have so much less expereince. Does he even think I’m good?”), judgement (“Damn! She hasn’t had that many relationships. She’s just out here Fawking like that?”) and other complicated, potentially damaging feelings.

Remember the old Chris Rock joke? “Two men? TWO MEN? Including me? Who raised you??” A brother with a sexual resume as long as Lindsay Lohan’s rap sheet could very easily freak out when he found out that his girl has freaked off with 8 men over the course of 5 years. The double standards game is ridiculous when it comes to number of partners and regardless of that, there is something really unHot about spending too much time discussing previous paramours.

There is no value in your partner knowing how many folks were there before them. Even if there is no shame in your game, some things are personal and don’t need to be shared with others. What they DO deserve to know: Have you been using protection? How many times/relationships have you gone without? When was your last STD test? What were the results? Are you on birth control? Are you currently sleeping with anyone else? These are the things that matter, not the number of notches on your belt.

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