Two Sisters Discuss Sex & Numbers

October 14, 2010  |  

by Demetria Irwin & Sister Toldja

China Okasi

When two of Madame Noire’s writers wrote about sex and numbers, we couldn’t help but engage both of them in “the numbers question.” What do numbers have to do with sex? Let’s discuss…


You know the drill. By now, maybe you have your main points memorized for “the talk.” That’s the conversation you have with a guy who you could imagine being “the blues in your left thigh trying to be the funk in your right.”

“When is the last time you were tested for STDs?”

“What were you tested for?”

“What were the results?”

“Have you ever tested positive for an STD?”

“Do you have a sexual relationship with anyone else right now?”

Those are all vital questions and no matter how you phrase them, the answers contain required information.  There is another question that creeps to mind during that conversation but often times it’s never vocalized.  “How many people have you slept with?”

* Wince *

In the grand scheme of things, unless he’s a virgin or pushing Wilt Chamberlin numbers, the actual number kinda doesn’t matter, but we’re still curious.  I have a guy friend who has decided that any woman worth wifey-ing would not have more than 10 partners. I’m not sure where the number 10 comes from, but I guess to him it seems like a reasonable number  for a grown woman to have. Eh.  I can think of a million different scenarios as to how a woman with say 15 years of sexual activity could have more than 10 partners and still not be considered a trollop.

Over the years, I have been asked that numbers question. Sometimes I answered. Sometimes I didn’t. When I didn’t it was usually because I had no intention of sleeping with the guy and didn’t feel it was even remotely his business and/or I felt like it was an obnoxious, knuckle-dragging query.  I asked one guy that question and he shrugged his shoulders and said “I don’t know.” That’s a tad unsettling to not even have a ballpark figure, no?

Do you ask potential or current mates the numbers question? Do you have a cut-off number of respectable partners for yourself or others?

Here’s what Sister Toldja thinks –>

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