Could You Stop Talking To Me? 9 People You’ll Sit Next To On The Plane

November 16, 2012  |  
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It’s that time of year again, the time when millions of people are spending their hard earned pennies to book airline tickets. I don’t know about you; but every time I book my flight, I think about the last [memorable] person I sat next to and wonder what the next one will be like. If you’ve had travel experiences similar to mine, then you’ll recognize the following individuals.

The Talker

You know this person, the moment you give them the customary, greeting smile, they’ve taken it as a sign that you’re their new best friend for the next two- four hours. No matter how you’ve told them that you didn’t sleep last night in preparation for this flight, their excitement, and perhaps lack of trusted friends, will not allow them to be quiet. So you’re left with the task of pretending to listen, trying to send signals that you’ve checked out or being brutally honest by asking them to please zip it.

The Kicking Child

Some people have terrible luck when it comes to traveling with irritated children. Fortunately, I’m not one of those people. For the most part, I tend to be on planes with children who are super pleasant. You know, the kids who make coo-ing instead of crying sounds. And just because this is more indicative of my experiences, doesn’t mean I haven’t been in the presence of children who could not/would not stop kicking the back of my chair. As annoying as it is, I recognize that these are just kids, it’s really the parents’ responsibility to get them in check.

The Jokester

The jokester is like the talker, except he or she is sure they have to potential to moonlight as a comedian. If you haven’t had the pleasure of sitting next to this person, count your blessings. To me, the jokester is far worse than a simple talker because there is such a level of embarrassment for all parties involved when someone will not stop telling terrible jokes.

The Sleeping Leaner

Sleeping is my favorite thing to do…in life, but particularly on the plane. So I’m not mad at anyone else who’s trying to get their siesta on as well. The problem comes in when said person loses all control of their body and ends up flopping over the arm rest and into your personal space. How does one politely push a drooling stranger off their shoulder? But if you’re not trying to spend the duration of your flight as someone’s pillow, it must be done.

The Rule Breaker

If I’m being honest, I’ve been known to be this person on the plane. You know how it is when the groove on your iPod is too good to be interrupted by some stewardess. So yes, I’m guilty. The rule breaker is also the person who somehow feels that they can talk on their cell phone, long after they’ve been asked not to. Or the person who is determined to snatch off their seatbelt and run down the aisle as soon as the light comes on. These people just make the traveling experience much more arduous than it ever had to be.

The Reader

This is by far the best person to sit next to on the plane. The reader doesn’t need you for anything. Not for conversation, not as a pillow. Nothing. The only problem that might arise with the reader is that you might be so interested in the book their reading, that you’ll end up looking like a creep, trying to read over their shoulder.

The Drinker

There’s nothing wrong with the drinker as long as they drink in moderation and their consumption doesn’t disturb you. But the drinker can go from not a problem to nuisance in the blink of an eye if they start going overboard, get loud and end up stinking up the space with the smell of liquor.

The First Time Flier

I personally, like to people watch. And no one is more interesting than the person who is flying for the very first time. If you remember flying for the first time, you know how thrilling the experience was. To see the range of emotions first time fliers experience, from fear to excitement, wonder and relief is pretty cool.

The Arm Rest Stealer

This person is the absolute worst. There is a clear system in place when it comes to arm rest protocol. If you are right handed, then take the right arm rest. If you’re left handed, take the left or whichever one is still available. What you don’t do is lay claim to both arm rests, each person is entitled to at least one.

Which types of travelers are you the most annoyed by?

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