What Not To Wear: Does Your Significant Other Dictate Your Fashion Choices?

October 3, 2012  |  

Looks like Beyonce and Kim Kardashian have more in common than we thought. Weeks after Kanye West famously threw out all of Kim’s clothes on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, we find out that Jay-Z is more into flats than heels on his superstar wife.

The “World’s Most Beautiful Woman” told the magazine that crowned her, she’s become far more laidback in her appearance since giving birth to Blue Ivy. Of course, we all remember Beyonce trotting around in heels during her pregnancy, but lately this new mom has been All Flats Everything.

“I never thought there would be a day when I wouldn’t wear heels. Now that I have a child, I walk around holding her all day, I’m buying loafers and oxfords. I love them, because they’re comfortable… And shorter heels too. I’d always thought, ‘The higher the heel, the sexier.’ But now I’m like, ‘These are really Hot.”

“[Jay-Z] loves it when I wear flat shoes, which is surprising — he never saw me in flats before!… He likes me more natural — just the relaxed, natural me.”

In the famous “throw out all her clothes” KUWTK episode, Kanye told Kim that he also likes the natural look to which his “perfect Beyotch” replied “well I don’t”.

Gotta love that honesty.

In Beyonce’s case, maybe she started wearing flats first then Jay-Z either finally admitted or realized for the first time that he liked her new low-key look. It may not even be the flats necessarily, but the fact that he’s used to seeing her dolled up so being relaxed and natural is different and he likes the difference. I’ll give them that. However, the reason behind Kim’s fashion transformation is not so ambiguous considering Kanye told her “if you throw out all of your clothes, I’ll buy you a new wardrobe”. Throw them all out. Sheesh!

It’s unrealistic for women to assume their significant other likes every single thing they wear – especially considering most women dress for other women and not for men. While we’re fawning over a woman’s Louboutin shoes and Birkin bags, men are zeroing in on a seemingly basic chick wearing a plain white-tee with ample cleavage. Of course, this isn’t true for all men because looks are subjective. However, many men appreciate timeless, feminine and Hot over the current androgynous yet trendy-to-women styles.

Still, it’s odd that Kanye would date Kim Kardashian, knowing full well how she looks then attempt to change it. While watching her try on some of the new digs, he commented “This will have you on every Best Dressed List” like Kim was a staple on a “Worst Dressed List” or something.  Even odder than his desire to recreate her wardrobe is the fact that she would go along with that foolishness. [We don’t know the whole story though and a woman willing to fake her own wedding for ratings is willing to fake anything else – but for the sake of this article, let’s just say the episode portrayed a real incident.]

Her situation and Beyonce’s comments make me wonder if other women allow their husbands or boyfriends to dictate their style.

Personally, there are a few pieces in particular that my husband hates when I wear. One (cute!) tan, shortsleeved jacket he refers to as my “Jack Hanna jacket” as in Jack Hanna the zookeeper. Another strapless denim jumpsuit I love, he called “that jean bib overalls thing you wear” as if I’d ever wear bib overalls. I still wear those items though because I like them. Neither would be the first thing I’d pull out on date night, but I’m not tossing them in the donation pile either. My husband does like when I wear heels and I’m indifferent, so I pull them out occasionally.

I asked a friend who has been in a long-term relationship if her boyfriend dictates her style at all. She said not now, but when they were about a year in, she stopped wearing a lot of makeup because her boyfriend didn’t like that “brown stuff” all over his pillowcases and said she looked better without it anyway. Another friend says she stopped wearing weave because her husband likes her regular hair. Yet another friend told me her boyfriend doesn’t comment on her clothes except to say he likes them.

It makes sense to want to look your best for your S.O. because, though his opinion on your clothes is not more important than your own, it’s certainly more important than the random girl you walk past in the mall who compliments your shapeless shirtdress. Beyond just clothing, I think it’s important to always draw your own line in terms of how much you’re willing to adjust yourself to please a guy. Men are allowed to have a preference, but that doesn’t mean you have to try and fit his preference. Asking your man for his honest opinion is one thing, but him trying to control you is something completely else. You’re not his Barbie doll or blank canvas. You’re your own person with your own tastes and it’s important to feel comfortable in what you’re wearing – whether it puts you on some “Best Dressed List” or not.

What do you think? Do you allow your significant other to dictate your style?

 Follow Alissa on Twitter @AlissaInPink or check out her blog This Cannot Be My Life

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