What Would You Do If Your Husband Allen Wested You And Told You To Commit To Being His P*rn Star?

October 3, 2012  |  

 

Try to look past the fact that this is Allen West – I know it’s hard – but let’s pretend we’re talking about a sane, upstanding black man here.

Gossip Extra has obtained a handwritten letter the well-known republican wrote to his wife in 2003 during his tour as an Army lieutenant colonel in Iraq. Parts of the letter are sweet, for instance at one point he tells his wife,” I miss you and cannot wait to see you,” and later he says that although he isn’t as physically attractive as the male actors in the movie “Soul Food” (which came out in 1997 by the way), he would try his hardest to always be “a clean cut, healthy and affectionate man!” Awww But then somewhere along the lines, Allen changes his tone just a tad and tries to go all sexay dominant on his wife, Angela, telling her he expects certain intimate acts when he returns to the United States that will be “the standard and it is non-negotiable.”

He tells her: “From now on, you will wear two-piece swim suits when on vacations.”

Then: “Angela, I need to know, are you committed to being my p*rn star?

“I do not want to hear ‘no’ or ‘we’ll see about that.’ I want my fantasies to be with you. God has authorized you and you only as my partner for intimacy and that is what I want.”

And he signs off: “Get ready!”

Note to self: Don’t ever write a nasty handwritten note than can one day be used against me should I become a public figure.

In some ways, Allen’s letter is no big deal. Lots of men never grow out of the p*rn star fantasy, expecting their wife to be able to p-pop on a handstand while slobbing his knob and cooking dinner all at the same dang time. Then on the other hand there’s this blatantly stated non-negotiable element to his “requests,” which are really just demands with question marks behind them, that makes this a little scary/odd/kinkily excitable (?)

I know the man was over in Iraq so there’s no telling what kind of lonely, freaky thoughts he had to distract himself with during his tour, but there’s something very 50 shades about his tone – except Christian Grey at least let it be known he was about the submissive BDSM life before ol’ girl got to deep (sorry if that’s a spoiler). If you want me to be bikini ready by the time your flight lands and have no ifs, ands, or buts, about your sexual requests, you’ve got to tell me that before we get married, like before you put a ring on it in 1989. It’s 2003 bruh. Depending on how wild some of his desires are/were, I imagine there might be some things that his wife wouldn’t be downright opposed to trying, but she might at least need time to ease into. I get the impression from his letter that there was no learning curve in his mind. Soon as he came home she better be ready to do it, and do it well. Owww.

But even though I said I know men never outgrow the whole p*rn star thing, why can’t getting my Pinky/Jada Fire/Superhead game on – ooops did I tell on myself – just be considered being sexually liberated or exploratory, why the I sleep with multiple men and women on camera everyday for money p*rn reference every time a woman doesn’t have bedroom hangups?

Reading this letter took me back to that relationships panel I went to this weekend when the therapist told women if they got their man freaky, they needed to remain freaky. And the one’s who hadn’t yet tapped into their inner freak better do so if they want to get or keep a man. Her exact words were, “Go to the sex shop. Rent movies. Be a ho.” Of course everyone laughed at this 50+ black woman clearly showing she’s a lady in the street and a freak in the bed, but I also kept thinking why do we use all these words with a negative connotation to encourage women to be sexually exploratory? Aren’t those the very words that stop most, or some, of us from going that hard in the sack in the first place? Her words took me back to Toni Braxton talking about dating again and saying she was tapping into her “inner ho.” All I could think was, “woman, you’re 40-plus, can’t you just get your grown woman on without making up alter ego excuses for what you’re doing in the bedroom?” That doesn’t sound too liberated to me. At the end of the day, maybe it’s all semantics and I just prefer private dancer over p*rn star, but I’m going to need the expectations of my sex game to be negotiable and presented to me in a non-adult movie type way, pre-wifery, in order for me to get all the way on board — and for those requests to be made in person.

What do you think about Allen’s letter? Does it bother you that women being comfortable with their sexuality is always likened to being a ho or adult video star?

Brande Victorian is the news and operations editor for madamenoire.com. Follow her on twitter @Be_Vic.

*Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.

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