Predicting The Future: How To Tell What Your Man Will Be Like in 10 Years

September 21, 2012  |  
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Right now you and your guy have no major financial responsibilities, no kids and you’re both still attractive and energetic. So, what’s there to worry about? Well, time. Some behaviors and habits that are cute or at least harmless now could be what make a man impossible to live with later. Or, they could be what make him a great partner for life.

Does he talk to older generations?

When at an event attended by multiple age groups, does your guy stick to his generation or does he speak to older generations? A man that only talks to people in his own age group is not looking to get ahead or learn. But a man that makes a point of speaking to older generations, hearing their success stories and how they made it in the world has an eye for the future. He doesn’t go to a party just to drink and have fun. Every person and every conversation is an opportunity to learn and network.

Does he confide in you?

Does he talk to you about his stresses? Does he call you regularly to give you the run down of his day? If he does, this shows that family is important to him. He is comfortable accepting emotional support from somebody and developing a tight net of people to confide in regularly (which is exactly what a family is). If he keeps his more serious matters to himself and only wants to come to you to have fun, he may be more of a lone ranger type, missing that quality that makes people “stick” and develop healthy codependent bonds (something essential in a family).

Does he ever gush?

Over babies? Puppies? Anything? There’s a little woman inside of every man and that’s there “maternal” side—their side that naturally feels the urge to protect weaker, wide-eyed beings. If nothing can bring a baby voice out in your man, or at least make him get that doe-eyed grin on his face we all get when something is adorable, I hate to break it to you but he may not be father material. There is an emotional wall up there that doesn’t allow him to show his softer side.

 

How does he behave after work?

Does he just want to turn the TV on, grab a beer and veg out? Does he obsess about work, talking about all the things he’ll do better tomorrow, shutting you out? A man that just wants to forget all about work as soon as it’s over might be headed for a medium salary at a mundane 9 to 5 job forever. He won’t muster up the energy to think, “How can I further myself?” He succumbs to discontent and wants to shut down. But you also have the workaholics that can’t balance family and work. That’s the guy that only talks about work all of the time. Ideally, you want a guy that keeps his career in the forefront of his brain, where he has a confident hold on what his plans are, but also has the ability to shut that off and talk about other things like, for example, your kids.

Is he a spender or a saver?

Is your guy a spender? If so, does he do so almost with a sense of guilt—you know it when you see it—or with cool confidence? There are two types of spenders: the type that feels his spending controls him, and the type that spends confidently because he knows he’ll take care of his finances and one purchase here or there won’t affect his bank account. You want that second type: he’s not such a saver that it almost makes you feel nervous about money, but he’s not such a large spender that you fear one day he’ll make a big, dumb purchase that puts you in the red.

 

Is he an organizer, or a follower?

When a new Facebook event pops up, is your guy often the host? Or just the one to jump on board after? A man that is always on the look out for fun activities for him and his group of friends to attend, organizing group rates for everyone and making sure everybody is situated will make a great father. He’ll always be finding things for you and the kids to do! But, the guy that just tags along, never taking the initiative to plan activities for his friends would be the type of father to leave all the family planning up to you.

What’s his wardrobe like?

Is it mostly professional attire, with a few spunky items thrown in? Or is it the reverse—a closet filled with funky, vintage, graphic-T’s etc., with the minimum number of professional items necessary to get by? The latter type is most likely always looking for an escape from work and always counting down the hours until 5pm. Work is just a “side job” for him from his fun activities. The former might not know how to have fun! He may not know what his identity is outside of businessman, hence the lack of unique items that could show his character. Ideally, you want a man who admires professional attire and keeps a good amount on hand, but also refuses to give up on his shopping trips for “fun” clothes and will wear his Led Zeppelin t-shirt a dozen times before washing it. This man takes himself seriously as a professional, but understands that being yourself and letting loose is essential.

 

Does he look after his health?

Does he go in for regular check ups? Does he work out? Does he eat right? Does he lay off cigarettes? Drugs? Try to keep drinking to a reasonable amount? A man that looks after his health values his body, remembering that it will be the vessel to carry him through all the things he wants to accomplish in life. So beware of the man that treats his body like a trash can. He may not have any ambitions at all, so he never thinks about what he’ll need that body for later!

Who are his friends?

His friends may seem harmless now—just a group of people that make him laugh and share common interests. But, whether we realize it or not, we are drastically influenced by the company we keep. So if your guy has a group of best friends that are all men in their 30’s still living with roommates, working as bartenders, smoking weed and playing video games all night, he might subconsciously start slipping on his ambitions. He is surrounded by a group that in no way motivates him or makes him feel competitive. And yes: it is healthy to have a group of friends that bring out your competitive side a little! However, if he keeps friends that are well on their ways in their careers and have steady relationships that could inspire him to keep growing up too.

 

How does he feel about his parents?

If his parents are wealthy, does he think they are snooty and want to rebel against them? If so, you may have a man that resists success and money, wanting to live in a state of perpetual adolescence just to not be like his parents. If he admires his parents—great! He probably wants to emulate their lifestyle and will work hard to do so. If his parents are poor and he resents them for that, he might work very hard to rise above (but he may also do so with anger, rather than passion, so beware of that!) If he wants to work hard to give his parents a better life, then you have an ambitious and kind-hearted man on your hands. However, if he’s had no example of ambition, and was never accustomed to having money, he may only aspire for as much success as his parents had.

Is he the life of the party?

The truth is social people are better networkers, better interviewees, better communicators and often more intelligent because there’s been a scientific correlation found between a sense of humor and intelligence. So, you may think it’s cute now that your guy never wants to go out and sits silently by your side at dinner parties, letting you be the life of the party, but in the future it could be his career downfall. If your man is a social butterfly, he’s bound to be going places (just so long as his partying doesn’t get out of control).

Does he follow “the rules”?

If he’s told a price does he accept it, or bargain? Does he talk the airline into upgrading you for free or does he accept no for an answer? Nobody ever got anywhere by accepting no for an answer. The world is full of no’s. A man that isn’t afraid to challenge that is bound to experience, accomplish and have extraordinary things. Yes, it’s awkward to hear no, and to argue and challenge, but a man that diminishes his fear of that awkwardness is limitless in where he can go. So, does your guy have balls, or not?

Does he stress a lot?

Stressers are stressers! Sorry. And if your guy thinks he is stressed now, just wait until he has a mortgage and tuition to pay and diapers to change! People are sort of genetically prone to be stressers, or to have a positive outlook. It’s a tough trait to change and takes years of mental training, or an event so shocking and perhaps tragic that it forces a person to take a new perspective on life. If your guy is always complaining and stressing today, stop telling yourself it’s just a phase because of something at his job or in his family. He will always find reasons to stress. Or, if he’s a positive person, he will always find reasons to be happy.

Is he a helper?

If a friend says they are moving, does he jump to the occasion to find boxes for them and be there bright and early with his truck? Or, does he have to be asked? If he has to be asked, and you stay with that guy, you’ve got a long life full of zero surprises ahead. Men that need to be asked to do basic, kind things never go out of their way to surprise a woman with gifts, weekend getaways, or that new sink she’s been asking for. They usually have a slight narcissistic tendency, unable to visualize what it feels like to be the person that needs help. Because, if they could visualize that, they’d be on their feet helping.

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