An Open Letter to My Single Sistas: Stop Searching For Him

September 14, 2012  |  

Single Sistas Searching I also urge and encourage you to really think about your motives for desiring a husband. Many of us desire a husband for the wrong reasons; you know those reasons…a need for financial security, a need to legitimize a pregnancy,etc. Sometimes it’s just for the purpose of being too lazy to start over or my personal favorite…he’s a good man and I don’t want to leave or lose him. I urge you to desire a husband and marriage so both you and your husband can fulfill your purpose in the world as one, and not seek to satisfy superficial desires. Last, I urge and encourage you to cease your search for your mate, and start your search within as an unmarried woman because if you spend a majority of your single life seeking out your mate, you may miss out on the beauty that is your single life. Instead of searching for a mate and marriage, look within yourself to discover the hidden treasures that make you the woman you are and the woman you have yet to become, whether you’re married or not.

I know that many of you may be going through the stage of life where you have reached a certain age, and you think you should be married by now. But the truth of the matter is there is no set age on when you should be married, and you can have a joyful and productive life as a single woman, because the reality is that there are many married women who wish they were single, and just because they are married does not mean they are happy. I also know that many of you may get lonely sometimes and wish that you had that special someone to spend Holidays with, your birthday, and of course Valentines Day. I know that you are anxiously anticipating the day when you can say I’m engaged or we’re celebrating our wedding anniversary this weekend. I know your heart may slightly sink in when you see a friend’s wedding pictures, bridal party invitations,  and  baby showers. I know what you’re going through because I’m right there with you. But over the years I’ve learned the value in being a single woman, and I’ve learned how to wait. So I stay to you relax, relate, and release your search because your husband is on his way, but you must be sure you have prepped and positioned yourself to be seen as a wife. Learn to wait patiently and look forward to being married, rather than looking for it. Stay encouraged, serve your purpose. Pray, reflect and grow.

Sincerely Your Single Sista,


Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.

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