Is Desire Negotiable? Why My Man Needs To Find Me Irresistible

September 10, 2012  |  

Ladies, does your man make you feel like you’re the apple of his eye?

Mine used to, until we settled into the relationship and I started to feel like I was just cute enough. Beauty is subjective. But even the woman that most men agree is attractive has had her share of failed relationships. A look at the dozens of modeling agencies, music videos, and fashion runways, are compelling evidence that for every beautiful woman, there are hundreds more just as stunning.

A friend of mine once told me I was a “stage 1” kind of girl. He said that I was the kind of girl who preferred when a relationship was fresh, something new to look forward to, like a pair of Nike’s fresh out the box. But when the “newness” wears off, I tire easily and become eager to move on the next great thing, treating men like I do my profession, always wanting to try my hand at something new. I don’t agree. What I know I’m after is that feeling of desire from a man. I’m not so superficial as to want to be the most beautiful woman in the world, but if nothing else, I want my attributes, physical and otherwise to be absolutely lovely…to him.

Over my adult years, I’ve noticed that the higher the caliber of man I date, the more likely that man is to have his pick of beautiful women. But there should be much more to a beautiful woman than her skin that radiates, her curves that challenge the number eight to a dual, her scent unmatched by the rarest flower. She is cut from the “finest cloth”, a rib from Adam’s side. But then there is her intellect, her way with words, the manner in which she carries herself. There are those things that set her apart from the others…

One Sunday morning, I found myself at a gas pump when the man across the way sat in the driver’s seat of his Suburban, looked me up and down and then yelled “Hey beauty, you got a number?” from his car window. I glanced up, but was silent and even that was giving him too much attention.

I like to feel unique when a guy asks me out. Regardless of the facts, I want to feel like I’m the most beautiful woman he’s seen in his life. Or if not his life, at the very least, that day. I want to feel like he doesn’t do this every 30 minutes, like it’s as routine as checking his email. A woman wants to feel special. And so, if she plays hard to get, understand that she is just looking for some persistence on the part of the male to show greater interest. Some say the new millennium woman is full of herself and will forever be alone. But when I think about it, I would much rather be alone than to be with a man who could take me or leave me. The man who is indifferent, who could just as easily swap me out for the next beauty that crosses his path. I want the man who finds me irresistible.

I heard a man once say that getting a number from a woman that gives her number out to everyone is no accomplishment. Similar to hitting the slow kid in a game of dodgeball. Anybody can do that. But if you can hit the moving target, the kid nobody hits because he’s just that smooth, now that’s something to talk about.

I want to be something to talk about. I don’t want to be cute enough to talk to, cute enough to sleep with, cute enough to be arm candy. To him, I want to be the candy everyone is looking for because it tastes so good but it’s hard to find because most stores just don’t carry it. So rare, that when you do come across it at a random gas station mart, you do more than yell from a car window, but you get up close and personal, grab it with both hands, and say “I’m getting this.”


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