Would You Stand By Your Man?

August 9, 2012  |  

When it comes to “Love & Hip-Hop” in any city, the usual question we’re asking is why are you still with that man? This time around in Atlanta, the situations of a couple of different couples are bringing into question women’s loyalty and just how much should you — or could you – stand by your man?

Memphitz and Toya aren’t actually members of the LHHATL cast but they’re talked about so much they might as well be. Recently, Toya made her first semi-official statement on K. Michelle’s allegations of abuse against her husband. As expected, some people thought Toya was doing exactly what she should do, defend her man’s name or at least their marriage, which is essentially what she did by shutting down any speculation that he might be abusing her as well. On the other hand, some people sided with K. Michelle’s classic “if you’re going to ride-or-die, know what you’re riding for” statement, and questioned why Toya was speaking on things which she didn’t know of fist-hand.

Truth be told, no matter what Toya says, does, or doesn’t say or do, she’s caught between a rock and a very hard place. When you let someone else speak for you and yours as K. Michelle has been doing all season, you run the risk of letting assumptions cloud your marriage and your reputation because no one ever hears your side. On the flip side, when women are a little too overzealous in their man’s defense, people wonder if you’re riding just a little too hard and being blind to the type of man your husband really is, was, or could be. There’s also the question of why she’s speaking for her husband instead of Memphitz making his own statement on the allegations. We knew he needed more people when his first response to K. Michelle outing him was “I made you,” but I’m not so sure having his wife do his PR was the best move.

On the other end of the LHHATL spectrum are Kirk and Rasheeda. In this case, Kirk is the ride-or-die partner so to speak. He’s been trying to make the boss b****’s career happen for somewhere around 14 years I believe, but from all views, particularly his wife’s and her possible new management, it ain’t happenin’ and he’s the reason. I think it’s perfectly fine for Rasheeda to seek new management if she thinks her husband can’t take her career where she wants it to go (although a little FYI before she actually met with someone would have helped); however it’s the emasculation along the way that’s a bit of a problem in my eyes. When it comes to the couple’s interactions, Rasheeda is quick to want to separate business from personal, but as a husband, Kirk can’t help but feel personally attacked about any perceived short comings when it comes to his business sense. It’s just not that easy to take off the business cap and switch on the one of the spouse, particularly when you’re the one on the receiving end of non-stop criticism for failing to live up to your wife’s expectations as an artist.

But that’s not even the worst of Rasheeda’s offenses. She doesn’t just emasculate Kirk herself, she let her possible new manager Debra Atney disrespect and berate him as well, as we saw on this week’s episode. I understand wanting to take your career to new heights but you don’t have to knock your husband down a peg to get there. It’s fine not to stand by her man as her manager but she needed to stand up for him as a man and not allow another woman to talk down to him. Don’t ask me where his cojones were that day either, but perhaps they’d already been cut off by Rasheeda on the way to the meeting.

We’re all on the outside looking in on these relationships but there’s been some pretty sketchy behavior going on lately that calls into question women’s loyalty and just how much they have or should have their man’s backs. There’s a time and a place for riding and dying and I’m not sure both of hese ladies have figured those situations out yet. What do you think?

How would you handle the K. Michelle situation if you were Toya? Do you think Rasheeda defends and appreciates Kirk enough?

Brande Victorian is the news and operations editor for madamenoire.com. Follow her on twitter @Be_Vic.

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